Jog Walk

It's going to start raining again so the sky was the color of lead. The sun pierced the gray canopy with slanting shafts of light and things warmed up nicely.

I walked Amber in the mid afternoon and then went on by myself doing 77 minutes. On the way I dropped headed over to the college and spent 20 minutes on the track jogging 50 meters, walking 50 meters. Not precisely the way my friend Brian recommended that I do my comeback. I walked too much before (the recommendation was 10 minutes of walking and 20 minutes of jog-walk but it felt good to get outside and sweat a bit.

Danny ran a 5:18, 1500 meter today at a corporate meet. The equivalent of a 5:42 mile. His fastest in several years.

Silicon Valley Gulching 101

Email to a friend who is all angry about Obama, his recent speech and things in general

Working for the state or government is not an option. I would not "fit". I have to resist the state in any way I can that is NOT violent, breaks no big laws and also increases my lack of reliance on the state. Part of this is to become a heck of less reliant on the news and media and also to seek out folks who have behaviorally sought and have achieved a level of independence.

For example, I could not respond to your analysis of Obama's speech BECAUSE I DIDN'T LISTEN TO IT. At least not much of it. It was on the TV when I got home but Sue and I went inside and had a glass of wine and talked instead.

The money thing I will need to figure out.

I know that being angry at the government and being a victim for the next 6-8 years increases my dependency on all of those things and I don't want that.

Galt stopped being a victim. In fact he never became a victim. Either did Roark. He refused to be a victim even when Toohey was screwing with his career right and left.
These are fictional characters but they set an example or ideal to strive for.

By the way, I don't care how others see me in this process, only how I see myself. I look for people of like minds but don't require it.

Tell Me What You Really Think

By nature (and it took me years to understand this about myself) I prefer to work the edges of issues. I find I am more effective out there than trying to be main line. It's am experiential and psychological thing.

I am better backing into the lime light than being in the limelight. When I have to ask, I don't do as well as when I am asked.

I am more effective down in an organization rather than leading an organization (even though I can lead).

If I chose the mainline approach to our present dilemma I would run for office, write, blog and draw attention to my views. But I am not happiest doing that and probably less successful.

If I work the edges and show patience, I just feel and do better.

Look, I don't like bailing out companies and do the second coming of the great society, but it's going to happen anyway. Neither you or I can do anything to stop it (fro now). People are pretty angry about the fiscal crisis, the wars overseas and the fact that it looks like rich greedy people manipulated the system. The story is as old as time. So now the masses get their revenge. Redistribution of wealth is the term they are using this time around. In the end it will lead to inflation, disappointment and a lessor America. But if the "wealthy and powerful" hadn't abused the system we would be a a nice pickle but not the horrible pickle we find ourselves in now.

The housing mortgage program that caused things to fall like a house of cards was our fault. People who had positions of trust didn't do their jobs. They went for the short term financial profit versus doing what was right. Then we bail them out (Late last year) and trust them to get money back in circulation and they default to paying bonuses and painting their offices (so to speak). So I get why people are angry. I really get it. It looks bad even if the average wealthy or middle class guy didn't contribute to this problem at all.
Dave, if you misbehave, the great unwashed masses will seek new leadership and come marching to your door. You didn't misbehave. Either did it. Either did most folks. But a few did and they were both Republicans and Democrats and some independents too. They blew it and so it was natural that a proletariat leader would arise and bring about vengeance. Obama is that guy like it ot not. But we created the need for him. Not the other way around. He's not Lenin or Trotsky. But he is the American version of this (without the mass killings).

But we created him (or the need for him). By not doing our jobs well and then being arrogant and insensitive about it. Now we pay the price but that is not forever. It will turn and then we may have a chance to swing things back. Roosevelt ran a socialist system for 12 years and Truman less so. Under Eisenhower things changed.

The tide is too great right now but it will change or so I believe.

Slumdog Thousandaire

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?

So let's say you were lucky enough to actually win a million dollars a year ago.

After taxes you probably ended up with somewhere around 500,000 dollars.

If you invested in the stock market you probably have half of that left if you were lucky.

So now you have 250,000 dollars.

Not bad for a few evenings on a quiz show but far far away from being a millionaire.

If you thought you were going to retire though, you were mistaken. 250 grand can't generate enough income for you to do much of anything unless you relocate to the poorest of countries. 1% equals around $2,500 a year.

So what do you do?

Take you money and put it in some safe vehicle that is guaranteed by the government? Buy gold or silver? Leave it in cash for now.

Consider it found money, don't quit your day job and look for that next 250K. There is more than one way to skin a cat.

What will you do?

Buy that house you always wanted especially if you are not in the real estate market and don't own your own home (or condo). Buy a new car.

Now you are down to having a mortgage if you didn't buy a place outright, and if you didn't pay cash, probably having a car payment.

You own a few things you could not have owned a year ago but your freedom is crimped a bit. You are not free from any single job (remember 1 x and 10 x. This is a good time to go out, get married and have a few kids.

Welcome to the rat race, Slumdog Thousandaire.

Shrugging

Email to my conservative, right wing "friend".

We would do better to be less political adversaries and become allies on ways that we can "Galt's Gulch" the system. In the end we both want self reliance and self determination and less government interference in our lives. We can't always control which party is in power but we can control our response to it.

I think with our two creative minds we could brainstorm this over lunches and dinners and figure out how to do a better job of "Shrugging" (as in Atlas Shrugged).

I was wondering if you were interested.

The system, as it exists now politically pits us against each other and the system is winning. If we can rise above political parties and useless debate we have a chance.

There is another way. We can shrug and become urban warriors.

Gulching

A variation on gulching, but done as a single individual with the specific goal of "Refus[al] to engage in any implementation of your personal creative ability which benefits the State[...]Tak[ing] your brains off the statist marketplace[...]Act[ing] so that only those who add to your life, not those who devour it, comprise your creativity marketplace[...]Reserv[ing] your achievements for yourself and those who will join you in the endeavor to build a sane and sensible world" is what David King termed "Shrugging"[4]. This term also originated from Ayn Rand's novel, Atlas Shrugged.

From The Wikipedia definition of Gulching


For a good long time I have been thinking of Gulching***. That means making my life a more independent one. It is a term that originally was inspired by the novel Atlas Shrugged.

Since I am not going to move into the mountains or out into the borderlands anytime soon, I am going to have the challenge of figuring it out here in the middle of Silicon Valley. Gulcher's might say that this is an impossible task. But since my task is based on my own perception of things, who really cares.

For me the first step is the independent mind.

First steps

Freedom from political parties, rhetoric and slogans. There. See. I am already freer than I was a few minutes ago.

Freedom from should, ought and have to. There are enough of those to go around anyway.

Freedom from the latest and greatest toys, cars and technology (or is that the same as toys??). I admit to liking my Hi-Def TV, my cell phone and cable connectivity for my computer. If it works then stick with it. When it doesn't anymore then I will go out and buy something new or at least more current. Current is different than having to have the latest.

Freedom from any single job. I have that right now. As Ivan Sutherland once said, 1 one X is freedom from any single job. Ten X is freedom from all jobs. I don't know if Ten X works anymore but One X still does. In any case I have One X and Ten X. The key is keeping the meaning of X (Il costo della vita) under control. That has been a challenge especially with the sudden submersion of the economy into a virtual reality version of Waterworld over the past 5-6 months.

I am not really independent financially but lowering the cost of living can lower the "X" factor. So, job-wise, I went back inside to lower our medical costs and have some decent cash flow to alleviate some of the fiscal pain. I hate the fact that freedom is based on social security and medicare still being around somewhere down the line. It is also based on inheritance which means someone has to die. Not a happy thought. Inevitable but not happy.

More on all of this as I figure it out. It will be complex to simplify our lives and there will be blood. No sane city dweller wants to go this route without kicking and screaming a bit. I did this before back in the 1970's. It wasn't perfect but it was a sense of freedom when I wanted it. Career and money never meant as much as self determination.

Another Pull???????

About halfway through my run today (15 minutes) my right upper achilles and lower calf started to bother me. There was only way home and that was to come back which was another 15 minutes. I iced as quickly as I could but I have this sinking feeling that no heel lifts puts too much torque on my legs. The right side wasn't bothering me when this all began. Not down there.

I will give it a couple of days but I think the combination of removing the heel lifts and running is just too much for legs.

No drama here but no question that my legs are fragile and can't seem to hold up.

30 minutes

I finally crossed the 30 minute barrier today at lunch. It was way too sunny and nice (nice) to stay in at lunch so I got myself out there.

The run was only remarkable in the sense that I actually felt pretty good while running a classic out and back.

If you run out for 15 minutes then it's gonna take 15 minutes to get back. Duh!

Some guy dogged on my way out breathing like a choo choo train. I eventually was passed by him, caught him again and then he picked it up and dusted me off.

So this is sort of it for now. 30-35 minutes 4-5 times a week. The next step is to add in 50-100 meter striders once a week. I will eventually build up one run a week heading towards an hour give or take. The rest of my running days will be short and cute.

Who is John Galt?

Traded emails with my "I don't want to be your friend anymore" guy on the state of the economy. He is definitely polarized blaming much of the present crisis on the Democrats without it even occurring to him that the Republicans ran the show for 6 or the last 8 years. I sometimes feel like I am talking to a member of a cult. His mind would probably clear up nicely if he stopped listening to the right wing hate spewed by Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh and Bill O'Reilly. He sounds like he has memorized their sermons.

I am in the middle or what I perceive as the middle (Heck! Maybe I am not). Lack of government oversight and poor fiscal decisions (including stacking up bad mortgages) are the trigger that brought down this house of cards. Mistakes were made on both sides and the middle.

Is this Atlas Shrugged? Not yet. I don't see my right wing friend hurrying off to Galt's Gulch to lead a strike against what Ayn Rand called the looters.

Would the world miss another software engineer. Probably not. No more than they would miss "just another HR guy".

I think rhetoric is cheap (very cheap) and to live what you believe is tough. I know very few people in my life who are willing to NOT compromise that much.

On the running front: I ran at lunch today. Cool sunny and cloudy out in Baylands Park. I was woefully slow but got in 28 minutes with no problems.

24 Big Ones

The Gods of rain wind and thunder were out in force. They have reigned supreme over Northern California for the past several days.

I ran 24 minutes in a cold rain this morning. As my wife said, "Well, you had just better get at it," and so I did. It was basically miserable mostly due to the wind and the fact that my upper back spasmed late in the run. I stopped and let it settle down and then went on and finished. Time to go see Bill Tarr, no doubt.

The road back is littered with lack of desire and lack of goals. I did perk up when I listened to Dimitri relate his story of Danny and his mile a couple of Saturday's ago. Had I not pulled my calf the last time I might have been down close to 4:30 for a 1200 meter time trial. That would have been enough to tell me that I might be able to break 6 minutes for the mile (Sub-6 at 60).

I guess if I can remain injury free the time to evaluate that is this spring.

Lawrence Book

Not another book, Ali!


The Lawrence of Arabia For Dummies Proposal is with Wiley. Bert was kind enough to forward my "white paper" to the chairman who is passing it down to someone who will either accept or reject the idea. The Dummies website is very specific. They like proposals for books to go through literary agents, a step I was not aware of.

Te book idea has merit but the rejection will come because of one or more of the following reasons.

1. I am unknown to them

2. I didn't go through their process

3. The book idea doesn't interest them

4. All of the above

If it gets accepted because they find it compelling, then I will be committed to writing a 350-400 page book. Evenings and weekends for the next 6 months but frankly I am up for it.

20 minutes

Twenty minutes. Hardly anything in the old days but that's what I ran today. I was almost the fastest guy in the neighborhood when a younger runners ghosted by me like I was standing still.

Whoosh!

I found this on a running club website:


The Aging of a Runner by Eb Engelmann

I ran in high school (1500 meters, and also for soccer and basketball, and the very occasional, personal long run—about six miles in those days). I ran in the Army Airborne (mass, instep, group runs, 3 miles a day, six days a week, for almost three years, the last 14 months often at daybreak on German cobblestone streets in jump boots—a curiously awesome, goose bump inducing experience to me!). Then I put away my running until 17 years later at age 37 and weighing, what was for me, a bloated 183 pounds, when I decided to try it again—now belatedly as the "battle of the bulge." However, within six months I knew again that, weight be damned, I was still a runner!

Now on the eve of becoming 60. With 575 races and 44,000 "adult" miles behind me I am compelled to think about my running from an older, more reflective perch, and especially upon my aging and running. I have some personal observations to make.

I am slowing down, not surprisingly, and at an accelerating rate. The reasons are many, while the fallout is dispiriting and cumulative. I am inextricably caught in a downward spiral, and yet I strive to keep my head above the water and to stay focused upon the horizon. As we older runners keep telling one-another, "slower is better than the alternative."

I have all but stopped running the shorter runs. My mile, 3K, 5K, 5mile, and 10K are all getting substantially slower. Having done 20-40 or more of each of these distances there is nothing left to discover, and I am on the far side of my peak times for all of them and falling rapidly. Strength and speed are the first to go, while endurance mercifully lingers.

I also find as a side effect that while I can still run flats and especially downhill only modestly slower than before, I am all but unable to run uphill. Consequently, I no longer run them but march them vigorously, except in the shorter distances or in relays.

Given the relative persistence of endurance with age, the much greater role of mental focus and tenacity in longer runs, and the relatively fewer runs I have done at really longer distances, I have essentially become a long distance specialist. In this regard, I also have at my service a key axiom garnered from personal observations made at many races over the years, "the longer the race, the older the participants". Also, as we all know, speed kills, and that is certainly true when it comes to generating injuries! It is so much more likely for a senior runner to pull or strain an aging muscle with an all-out fast effort than it is for a youngster to do so. Here then, is another contributing factor to running long.

Not only do times slow as one ages, but perhaps even more challenging, recovery slows. This includes recovery from both the exhaustion experienced from hard training or racing and recovery from injuries suffered along the way. Where I used to run every day, I now hope to run only every other day. On the alternate day I typically walk or racewalk, bike, row, and/or do light weights and stretching. While I can still make my self run more frequently, my legs become heavy, my aches persistent, my body lethargic, and my spirit flagging.

I also find that, as I age, my performances have become less satisfying for me and less relevant for anyone else. In spite of my best efforts, I am no longer near the front of the race. My times are becoming more and more distant from the winner's time. And who besides another 59-60 year-old really cares what a runner oi that age is doing. That is the simple fact of the matter. This further detracts from my effort's value and makes it even more difficult to keep pushing my already fading body and spirit.

I now also find myself counting privately and anxiously just how many years I may have left to run at this point, ...maybe ten? Certainly far less than I have already been running! How many 70-year-old runners do you know? Very, very few indeed! And for the majority of those, there is little performance incentive except to finish.

And I am now concerned that certain seminal running milestones have already silently passed me by - a 6:00 mile, 30:00 5 mile, 40:00 10K, 3:00:00 marathon, 8:00:00 50 mile, and perhaps the ability to ever again finish the Western States Endurance Run or post 100 miles or more in a 24-hour run. Can I still run around Mt. Rainier, and, if so, will the next instance truly be the last one? These doubts have a profound impact upon your dreaming, thinking, and planning as a runner. Is it becoming too late to do "x?" If you are a naturally competitive runner and person, these realities require constant, painful adjustment and rethinking of one's goals and priorities. If you love running, as I do, this is both exasperating and disappointing. It is corrupting! I am also loath to pass up an event I still feel I myself capable of doing for fear that next year I may no longer be able to I do it.

There is also a popular maxim among runners that it is not so much the age of the runner, per se, as the miles on the runner which accelerate - the slowing process. Regardless, by either measure I am becoming a fading, slowing runner. I have both the accumulated years and miles—and yes, even the accumulated miles raced!

Inevitably, I must simply return to an earlier phrase, "Whatever you are still able to do, it is far better than the alternative." Did you give it your best effort? Did you do the mostyou could with what you've still got? If so, that's truly all you can do. You deserve a pat on the back—at the very least your own pat! You should praise yourself. In no case should you allow yourself to berate your performance. And you should close and try to distance yourself from your one-time personal record book. Those performances belong to yesterday, and yesterday is gone. So put your best foot forward, and just keep on placing one foot before the other - as all runners must do. It still feels the same. Only the time has changed. And time always was the ultimate runner's taskmaster........

BIG RULES

Some big rules for a Silicon Valley Warrior

You should accept obscurity. You'll operate best when you are not noticed.

Don't make it about yourself, money or title. The time to negotiate all that is when going in. The let it go. Clients will resent it if they think you have to be bought. Besides, freedom comes from not being tied by title, grade or salary.

Always be prepared for the severance of your relationship. When you or the client calls "time" get out with dignity but leave quickly. If you are good at this you'll always be working yourself out of job.

Don't take offense. Stay above personal comments. Someone may well slander you but, if you are acting honestly, you have to not care.

Don't operate by a score card or performance appraisal. Grading of your performance by others is not relevant unless you choose to let this be so and then you are caged.

If the major part of your job drifts into an area where you are either weak or not enjoying the work, try to get back to what you do well. If you can't get back, get out. Staying will diminish your skills.

Don't try to win in big meetings. Do the bulk of your work by meeting with people one on one. Most people want to "shine" in big meetings. There is often someone who will try to take you down. If it takes one-hundred 1.1's to influence an outcome, it will be worth the effort.

Everything is relationships. Make enemies as often as you would want surgery.

Be patient. Influencing great outcomes is like kicking 55 yard field goals. You won't make half of them. Accept that. But you will make some and that is what is key. When you score it will count. Your opponents will never know what hit them. They may not even know that it was you who kicked the ball.

Use people for their strengths. Don't beat them up for their weaknesses.

Accept failure and move on. Defeat is often the path to victory.

News Fast

This 2006 article from Steve Pavlina about News Fasts. It is an old article but time for me. I intend to go in this same direction. I have even reset my home page on my computer to my Yahoo email gateway versus the Yahoo home page which if full of the latest and greatest news.




Overcoming News Addiction
September 26th, 2006 by Steve Pavlina Email this article to a friend Email this article to a friend

A little over 30 days ago, I decided to go on a news fast, using my trusty 30-day trial method. I had already dropped TV news and newspapers, but I still had the habit of checking Yahoo News or CNN every day or two, so for 30 days I decided to drop all news sources and go totally news-free. In this article I’ll share what I learned from this experiment. It went well enough that I intend to remain free of the habit of daily news checking.

Motivation to begin a news fast

I know well enough how negatively biased popular news sources are, but despite this drawback, I figured some news was still better than no news at all. Checking the news was the lesser of two evils. Isn’t it important to keep up on current events? If I dropped all news sources, wouldn’t I be living in darkness, cut off from the rest of humanity?

On the other hand, I always tell people, “You never know what’s on the other side of a belief until you test it for yourself.” I figured it was worth a 30-day trial to find out what news-free living was like. It seemed unlikely I’d miss anything earth-shattering, and I could always catch up afterwards.

Uncovering news addiction

I was surprised at how difficult this trial was from the very beginning. Throughout the first day, I was just itching to check the news. I wanted to find out what was going on in the world. What were the latest updates on the various news threads I’d been following? I was able to stick to my news fast without cheating, but it felt very uncomfortable. I had to delete my news bookmarks to prevent myself from subconsciously checking the news out of habit.

After several more days, I was still itching to check the news. It felt like a craving. I soon realized I wasn’t just dealing with a habit — I was actually tackling an addiction.

Addictions are a deeper form of habit because they fill a need. The need is often important and shouldn’t remain unfilled, but what makes an addiction negative is its destructive side effects. The need my news addiction filled was that it gave me a sense of groundedness by connecting me with what was going on in the world. But the negative side effect was that it was conditioning me to become more negative and fear-based in my thinking.

Control and substitution

The basic solution for overcoming an addiction is control and substitution. First, get temporary control of the addiction, such as by initiating a 30-day period of total abstinence. Secondly, identify the need being filled by the addiction, and find an alternate, non-destructive way to fill that need to at least the same degree.

When I began my 30-day news fast, I didn’t realize I’d be dealing with an addiction. I just thought it was an ingrained habit, so I didn’t make any plans for substitution. However, the substitute behavior naturally fell into place near the end of the 30 days. I’ll get to that in a minute, but first I’ll share some of the realizations I had during the fasting period itself.

Reassessing news reading

After a couple weeks without news, I got past the hump and wasn’t craving it so much anymore. At this point I began reflecting on the habit from a distance, and I made the following observations:

1. News is predominantly negative. Which headline gets your attention: “Another blissful day” or “Murderous rampage on the subway”? In order to keep you plugged in, news has to shock you out of your complacency. In practice that means it usually has to scare or worry you. News’ primary marketing method is fear.
2. News is addictive. If you’re a daily news junkie, try giving it up for 30 days, and you’ll see what I mean. Even when I just planned to quickly scan the headlines, I’d often get sucked into reading sensationalized articles that provided no real value.
3. News is myopic. News provides the illusion of completeness, but in truth its coverage is ridiculously narrow. There are many fascinating happenings in the world that never make the news. After getting your daily update on current events, you think you know what’s going on in the world. But with billions of people on this planet, you’re sorely mistaken. You don’t have a clue.
4. News is marketing. Think this; don’t think that. Fear this; worry about that. Yes, yes, we’re all gonna die. Make me feel afraid, so then I’ll buy the sponsors’ products to feel better. Global warming won’t seem so bad when I’m driving my new car and popping my anti-depressants. Pump me full of fear; then sell me the cure.
5. News is shallow. Complex topics are reduced to sound bites and simplistic platitudes. Even the “in-depth” stories are unbelievably shallow. Skip the news and read books instead.
6. News is untrustworthy. Start looking for the political and corporate agendas behind the stories, and you’ll see them oozing out of every nook and cranny.
7. News is thought conditioning. Here’s how to think, so you’ll fit in like a good little human.
8. News is trivia. What passes for important is actually far from it. How much of today’s news will you remember next year? Can you even remember last month’s news? Your brain discards the news because it’s trivial; what you internalize is the fear-based conditioning.
9. News is redundant. Most news stories are repetitive, redundant, and say the same things twice. Very few stories are actually fresh and new. News should really be called “olds.”
10. News is irrelevant. How many news stories are relevant to you personally? Virtually none.
11. News isn’t actionable. How many news stories are actionable for you right now? Less than none.
12. News is problem-obsessed. The news loves to report problems. It will tell you all the things that are wrong in gory detail. How many of those problems have you actually solved? Which ones are you hard at work solving right now? The news conditions you to worry about problems but not to actually solve them. That’s because you’re encouraged to worry about unsolvable problems and then buy the sponsors’ products to assuage your fears. Drop the news for a while, and you’ll find you naturally spend more time solving problems than worrying about them.
13. News is a waste of time. Try to quantify you’re real gain from news consumption compared to other activities, and you’ll see just how worthless it really is. 10 minutes of news checking per day = 61 hours per year. Over a 50-year period, that’s huge. If you consume 30 minutes of daily news, it’s 183 hours per year – about 23 eight-hour days. That’s a full working month out of every year. Yikes! Was your last year of news consumption worth that much to you? How about a month long vacation instead?

When I stepped back and looked at the big picture, I realized that news was worse than worthless to me. It provides the compelling illusion of valuable, factual information, but when you bite into it, you get nothing but poisoned air. I’m making generalizations here of course, but in my experience they’ve been true much more often than false.

How will I ever live without it?

Maybe news is a predominantly negative influence in its current forms, but what’s the alternative? Don’t we need to keep up on current events? What about “practical” news like technology and science? Even stuff that’s made to seem important really isn’t. Consider some of the stories you might assume are important….

A new breakthrough cancer treatment? I don’t have cancer, nor does anyone in my family. If I did have cancer and was being treated for it, I’d hear about treatments from more intelligent sources than the general news outlets. The news coverage of such treatments is too shallow and pharmaceutical advertiser biased anyway.

A new planet discovered? I’m not an astronaut or an astronomer, so even though this seems like important knowledge, from my perspective it’s still non-actionable trivia. Surely it’s important to NASA, but what’s important for NASA isn’t necessarily relevant to my life purpose. When I’m genuinely interested in improving my astronomy knowledge, I read books written by astrophysicists. Regular news offers astronomy for preschoolers.

A new electronic gadget? New gadgets are nice, but I’ll see friends using them soon enough, or I’ll notice them in local stores. There’s no need to wade through tons of forgettable fluff to learn about one gadget I might someday want. When I feel the need for a new gadget, I can research it proactively and avoid the fluff.

A war update? The combatants involved in various conflicts are neither my enemies nor my allies. Knowing which people killed which other people in which particular manner is useless knowledge to me. War is a complex issue, and the shallow news coverage doesn’t do justice to the true intentions behind the fighting. The information that comes through the news pipe is too biased to be useful.

A major disaster? A normal day on this planet will see 150,000 people die – over a million in a normal week. So how does an earthquake that kills 1000 people compare? That’s not even 1% of one day’s total. A disaster that requires my personal attention will be discovered without the news. During the 1994 Northridge earthquake, the violent shaking of my apartment was a good indication that something was amiss. The news was just as surprised as I was.

There are very few news items that would qualify as a genuine must-read. Sure there are some interesting articles now and then, but I’ve no need for the daily habit of news scanning. The genuinely critical items are nearly nonexistent. If something truly earth-shattering happens, I’m certain to hear about it from someone else anyway.

Substitute behavior

I mentioned earlier that I naturally fell into a substitute behavior that filled the same need as my news addiction. For me that turned out to be spending time in nature. This discovery happened largely by accident – or perhaps by synchronicity.

During my 30-day trial, Erin and I took a vacation trip to Sedona, Arizona. Sedona is one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever visited. I did some hiking, went on a tour with an American Indian guide, and meditated at four of the so-called Sedona energy vortexes (they call them vortexes instead of vortices). It was a wonderful trip, and when it was over, I didn’t want to leave.

On this trip it became obvious that spending more time in nature was a great way to feel grounded. I’d been using the news as a means of grounding myself, but spending time in nature was much more effective. It provided a deeper, more intuitive level of connection than the news’ what-you-don’t-know-might-kill-you approach.

Sedona is 300 miles from Las Vegas, but fortunately Red Rock Canyon is only a 20-minute drive from my house. The week we returned from Sedona, I went hiking in RRC. It’s not as pretty as Sedona, and there are no special energy vortexes, but it’s an effective substitute.

The last time I went hiking (far off trail), I stumbled upon a desert rock that was naturally shaped like a heart. It looked like the surrounding rocks, but it was so obviously heart-shaped that I couldn’t be sure it wasn’t human-chiseled. I decided to take it as a sign, so I put it in my office as a reminder of my connection to the world through nature.

The news cravings are gone now. Instead of feeling connected to the world through current events, I feel connected to the world through the timelessness of nature. This sense of groundedness has much deeper roots, roots that aren’t easily disturbed or manipulated. Standing alone in a natural setting with no man-made structures in sight is a feast for the soul.

News-free living

Perhaps the biggest risk of news-free living is that someday I’ll be lost in my daily routine, completely oblivious to the fact that everyone is evacuating the planet without me. Because I didn’t jack in for months on end, I’ll be totally left behind… just me and my heart-shaped rock. :(

So in the event of a sudden global evacuation, I ask that you send me a quick courtesy email to let me know. Once that risk is covered, I can comfortably enjoy the rest of my days on this planet sans news media.

WHAM! POW!

A very quiet day at the office. Gave me enough time to get out at lunch and run 18 big minutes. My legs hung together (figuratively). As I circled Baylands Park I was thinking how fragile and older runner becomes over time. Between recovery and injury, it becomes a sum game. You begin to realize that just being out there becomes the victory.

Back at work, late in the day, things changed dramatically. WHAM! POW! Got very busy until about 7 pm. Plenty going on in my over identified corporate life. I am trying to learn how to be Korean, which is tough enough.

What did Lawrence say about being Arab?

The beginning and ending of the secret of handling Arabs is unremitting study of them. Keep always on your guard; never say an unnecessary thing: watch yourself and your companions all the time: hear all that passes, search out what is going on beneath the surface, read their characters, discover their tastes and their weaknesses and keep everything you find out to yourself. Bury yourself in Arab circles, have no interests and no ideas except the work in hand, so that your brain is saturated with one thing only, and you realize your part deeply enough to avoid the little slips that would counteract the painful work of weeks. Your success will be proportioned to the amount of mental effort you devote to it.

The head of a snail

Oh, this is dangerous. It's like a dance. Two of the engineers I asked to meet with asked for agenda's. Very cultural I guess. They are definitely trying to shut me out. I was warned that this would happen. So I have backed off a bit and will circle around looking for another way in. They react like the head of a snail if you touch it. It instinctively retracts. I have always thought of myself as being very good at appearing to go native but this group is challenging.

I ran 16 minutes this morning.

The Inner Ring

I ran 14 minutes yesterday morning. I also did 2 sessions on the slant board.

Work was back to back meetings all day. I am trying to understand the motivation of the secret society (an inner ring) of our core engineering group. Very complex society within a tribal organization. No one from the outside likes going there but I have to. Good "warriors" individually but different in groups. I am looking for guides. I just can't expose them to being exorcised by their fellows.

No HR person has gone there before so I am a bit of a surprise.

Sawyer Camp 12 Minute Run

Drove up to San Mateo to meet the Beans. Bob ran the DSE 5K held on the Sawyer Camp trail. I ran 12 minutes hoping and praying that I would pass the 1/2 mile marker before 6 minutes turnaround elapsed (I did).

We went to breakfast afterward at Hobee's in Redwood Shores across the road from the glass monoliths of Oracle.

Cool, drizzle but no wind so it wasn't that bad.

In the old days Sawyer Camp was often a 12 mile run so this was quite a bit shorter.

Kathie

I ran 10 minutes this morning and then walked with Amber for about 20 minutes before dashing off to breakfast with the club.

Met up with Steve for lunch. Hadn't seen him for more than 30 years. He thinks it may be 40. Anyway we were just a couple of guys in our 60's catching up in old Burlingame. Steve was a cousin of a classmate of mine who died last week. Kathie....Never really knew her that well. Blond and cute. Died of a massive heart attack a year after having a stroke. She was small and slender in high school but had gained a great deal of weight. Ended up living in a mobile home out in the woods with her dogs.

I have a very vivid remembrance of graduation. We were loosed upon the world. Some died in Vietnam (useless..useless). Kathie died alone in the woods outside Fort Bragg. Not too far from where my friend Kenny died so many years ago. 63 years old.

I wrote her older brother an email giving him my regrets.

Time will eventually swallow the memory of all of us.

The Big Push

In the meantime back at the front

My irregulars are off on the right flank out in the desert. We are watching the guns pounding them. It is the signal that the BIG PUSH has begun and for us to get going.

I came back for this.

We move off in the half light of the early dawn.

NEWS FAST

It is time to go on another news fast. The aboslute crap that is being slung around these days is so frenetic that it could drive a person crazy. Imagine what it would have been if this was the olden days (how's that for a technical-historic term).

HUNS INVADE THE WEST

BIG BAILOUT PAID TO ATTILA

HUNS INVADE THE EAST

BIG BAILOUT PAID TO ATTILA

ATTILA DIES AFTER BIG FEAST. DROWNS IN OWN BLOOD

MONGOLS AT THE GATES

GENGHIS DIES. MONGOLS RETURN HOME TO DECIDE ON NEW EMPEROR

Who cares about this now (except for us history buffs).

What we now go through will pass. It will become something else both good and bad. I will live to see some of it because things change every day.

Yen & Jan R.

To burn some calories. That was the question. At lunch, I ran 8 minutes and walked another 42 to stir fry 350 calories. Probably not enough to cover the ice cream I had tonight after dinner. I usually can avoid stuff like that but I had a yen for it and the yen won.

So the question is (on a new topic now) is the Jan R. who supposedly lives in Daly City (Google says she does) the Jan I went to high school with and was supposed to call way back in the mid 1970's but lost her phone number and never followed up.

And why would I care?

And why would she care?

Well for one shallow thing, she was a cheerleader in high school.

For another thing, I owe her an apology.

I have a way of making people care (even if they don't really).

It probably isn't her anyway. I had heard she moved back east, got married and now goes under her married name.

The Cage

So at work we had a women who was put on a PIP (Performance Improvement Plan) back several months ago. She was given 60 days to shape up up ship put. We did everything to make sure she had a fair shake because she has one of the worst managers in the company. I met with her to tell her how this all would come down and how she had the best chance to make it through tomahawk alley.

She cried silently throughout but seemed grateful for the support.

Well, she made it though and was taken off PIP several weeks back non the worse for wear. The other day she came by and asked for a few minutes. I thought she wanted to deconstruct what had happened but that wasn't it at all. She was back to crying again because she didn't get a bonus.

Well folks on PIP's don't get bonuses.

She didn't get that at all.

The tears rolled.

I wanted to verbally "slap" her and tell her that she was lucky to have a job. I bit my lip and tongue and any other part of my mouth that would keep me from saying those words. I even sat on my hands.

I finally said those great words.

"I don't think you understand what was happening here." That was the truth. "You need to put this behind you and move on or you might find yourself back here on warning again."

Part of her warning was her poor attitude.

I could see the future. She was rotting from the inside of a mental cage that she had locked herself into while throwing away the key.

Tears were her lubricant.

Forcing Myself Out

I forced myself to go out on the roads this morning and walk and job a bit. Force is the optimal word here. I could just as easily have sat on the couch, sipping coffee and then headed on in to work. I finally got in 40 minutes with 6 minutes of running. The rest was walking. I was half-waiting for my calf muscles to knot up but it never happened. Afterward I actually stretched slightly. It's all about lengthening the calf especially on the left or south side. Stretch too vigorously and the muscle will go. Don't do anything and the muscle will go. Who knows. Do everything right and the muscle may go.

A Different Look

This isn't me. It's a photo by the Sartoriast.

http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/

It is a possible look going forward. I don't know about the glasses. I don't really need them. Maybe I can replace his look with sun glasses. Anyway, I like the beard and the coat and the longer, tied back hair. I am not usually into a look. It's the freedom.

But not having to shave every day. No more blow drying my hair.

I am well past middle age unless of course I live until 120 (then I am middle aged). It would be good to go kicking and screaming into that night.

Drifting Like Gas

The return to work has given me perspective.

I am actually enjoying myself. We're up against it. This is the make or break year (2009). I actually enjoy being up against the wall. I admit it. My relief pitcher, come from behind, get out of jam with the bases loaded , attitude is really where I prefer to be.

How much of a role I will play is suspect. I know what I do well which is to get out in the organization, get close to the folks who are the leverage points and make the right thing happen. A thousand pushes. My strategy is not based on that one big meeting. It never will be.

Lawrence wrote in Seven Pillars Of Wisdom

Here was a pompous, professorial beginning. My wits, hostile to the abstract, took refuge in Arabia again. Translated into Arabic, the algebraic factor would first take practical account of the area we wished to deliver, and I began idly to calculate how many square miles: sixty: eighty: one hundred: perhaps one hundred and forty thousand square miles. And how would the Turks defend all that? No doubt by a trench line across the bottom, if we came like an army with banners; but suppose we were (as we might be) an influence, an idea, a thing intangible, invulnerable, without front or back, drifting about like a gas? Armies were like plants, immobile, firm-rooted, nourished through long stems to the head. We might be a vapour, blowing where we listed. Our kingdoms lay in each man's mind; and as we wanted nothing material to live on, so we might offer nothing material to the killing. It seemed a regular soldier might be helpless without a target, owning only what he sat on, and subjugating only what, by order, he could poke his rifle at.


My war, if it could be called that, is one of constant nibbling at the edges. I can do far more with a hallway conversation or a late in the day one on one than I an do with a revised policy and procedure, a compensation strategic, a cell phone or a computer. These are all necessary tools but I can't use them as much more than currency.

I have freed myself from title, pay and position (this is different than title but that is a whole other entry). I am also not attached. If the I am asked to leave then I leave. I stay because I am compelling not because they think need me.

For now I am in play. How long that will last is relative because what I do is portable.
For the moment I have access and intent, the two key elements for intervention.