Who the heck was that guy!

Another day working for the man. I am in the very beginning of a 3 step process of getting out of this job with honor. My friend J is looking for some work after being laid off. If he is willing to step in for me then all I need to do is to convince the other two parties that I have to leave.

J tomorrow for lunch and R for coffee later in the week. If both of them come on board then it is only a matter of my telling M that I need to leave for some bulls**t reason that I make up but that I have a replacement. It worked at one of prior contracts and it should work this time. The only rule I have is that the person who replaces me must know the score.

If all goes well, I will be the "who the heck was that guy" by mid September.

This is all getting way too familiar. I am still better at finding a job than staying in a job.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After walking Amber, I ran 20 minutes this morning.

Fighting it out on the surface

If my boat is being rocked by depth charges than it is my own fault. Silent running isn't really working that well. My family sees the stress of the job and that isn't good. I am not hiding it well at all. It is widening my reality from theirs. I can't win either way. No money coming in. I lose. I stay in this job (or any like it) and I lose.

So I might as well surface and fight it out up there. Once defeat is inevitable you have nothing left to lose. So as far as my present situation goes, I accept that I need to get out as soon as possible. I have offered the job to a friend (with all its warts). He is out of work and might want to do it as a bridge job while he is out looking for his next career move.

As for me, when I look back at my recent posts I look out of control. It has been cathartic writing my frustrations out on this blog. It has helped.

On the exercise front: I ran 18 minutes today pain free. Taking it slow.

A Religious Lesson for Ryan Hall

I really do try and run to make God smile and to bring Him pleasure. My favorite times in running are when I am running and just pouring myself out on the track, going all out for Him. I feel like I am doing what God created me to do. There is no better feeling than that.

Ryan Hall on running and God


What if God is a woman?

Me


Ryan Hall just learned one of the great lessons of life. God may have told him to that he should run but God doesn't decide who wins Olympic marathons. Hall ran 2:12 and change and finished 6 minutes behind the gold medalist. I guess God took a day off from helping Hall. Instead he decided to help Wansiru who is only 5'4" tall and 112 pounds sopping wet.

The fittest runners win. They run the fastest times. Hall learned the same lesson that Paula Radcliffe learned in the woman's marathon, supposedly heroic though her effort was seen by outsiders. The fittest runner wins. Not the over trained, injured God believing one.

It's a crap shoot. It's best just to get yourself in reasonable shape and put yourself in position to have a chance to win. Hall was so far back at the half way point that a half dozen runners would have had to collapse for him to medal. Besides Ethiopians are Christians too.



Gold Samuel Kamau Wansiru 2h06:32
Silver Jaouad Gharib 2h07:16
Bronze Tsegay Kebede 2h10:00
4th Deriba Ejigu 2h10:21
5th Martin Lel 2h10:24
6th Viktor Rothlin 2h10:35
7th Gashaw Asfaw 2h10:52
8th Yared Asmerom Tesfit 2h11:11
9th Dathan Ritzenhein 2h11:59
10th Ryan Hall 2h12:33

Running to stay in the same place

I have decided to just gut through the next week and begin to push back on some of the fire drills. In fact I have already done this to some extent. This is almost Alice in Wonderland environment. It's Alice asking the Red Queen why she is running so fast.

Here it is from Alice in Wonderland.

Just at this moment, somehow or other, they began to run.

Alice never could quite make out, in thinking it over afterwards, how it was that they began: all she remembers is, that they were running hand in hand, and the Queen went so fast that it was all she could do to keep up with her: and still the Queen kept crying `Faster! Faster!' but Alice felt she could not go faster, thought she had not breath left to say so.

The most curious part of the thing was, that the trees and the other things round them never changed their places at all: however fast they went, they never seemed to pass anything. `I wonder if all the things move along with us?' thought poor puzzled Alice. And the Queen seemed to guess her thoughts, for she cried, `Faster! Don't try to talk!'

Not that Alice had any idea of doing that. She felt as if she would never be able to talk again, she was getting so much out of breath: and still the Queen cried `Faster! Faster!' and dragged her along. `Are we nearly there?' Alice managed to pant out at last.

`Nearly there!' the Queen repeated. `Why, we passed it ten minutes ago! Faster! And they ran on for a time in silence, with the wind whistling in Alice's ears, and almost blowing her hair off her head, she fancied.

`Now! Now!' cried the Queen. `Faster! Faster!' And they went so fast that at last they seemed to skim through the air, hardly touching the ground with their feet, till suddenly, just as Alice was getting quite exhausted, they stopped, and she found herself sitting on the ground, breathless and giddy.

The Queen propped her up against a tree, and said kindly, `You may rest a little now.'

Alice looked round her in great surprise. `Why, I do believe we've been under this tree the whole time! Everything's just as it was!'

`Of course it is,' said the Queen, `what would you have it?'

`Well, in our country,' said Alice, still panting a little, `you'd generally get to somewhere else -- if you ran very fast for a long time, as we've been doing.'

`A slow sort of country!' said the Queen. `Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place.

If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!'

And as long as we are talking about running....

I ran 16 minutes today. No problems that I could see even though I am staying as flat as can on running surfaces and keeping the extra heel lifts insitu. It helped to shake out some of the stress from Friday's work-knee jerk day.

No Regrets

To survive my present assignment I am beginning to realize the following.

Exercise before you go to work.

The way things have been going so far, lunch gets run over by fire drills on a regular basis.

Take legal but effective doses of meds.

It makes it a warrior calmer than he can make himself. Calmness is key in weathering the f**king storm

Apologize on a regular basis.

You are inept at constantly surging amounts of admin work.

Realize that you will never be able to catch up.

This is Bataan. Not Leyte Gulf. You will win eventually but not on Bataan. If you stay in your present mode for long enough, there will be a death march and you will be in the middle of it.

If they decide to walk you out, be sure to help them.

Run for you car and don't look back.

No regrets.

You can't change what has already happened. You can only make sure that it doesn't happen again.

The Shores

I once worked in this building. My office overlooked the center portion of the structure. If I walked out on my balcony I was looking right down at the dock and the lagoon. But that was back in 1986 & 1987. For a brief time I both lived and worked in Redwood Shores.

I showed up at work late today. Didn't role in until around 10:30 AM. To top this I sneaked out for a half hour and ran 14 come back minutes over in Redwood Shores. It's a ten minute drive from where I work. It's a place where I lived at from early 1985 until late 1991. It's a planned, idyllic community with ducks and geese and trails and beautiful home. My wife cried real tears when we moved away. It s like visiting the past because even though the place has grown it basically remains the same. In late 1990 my running had slipped from my being an age group competitive 33 minute 10K runner to a point where it was difficult for mt to run 8 minute miles. I decided to shift to an every other day running pattern using a heart rate monitor to keep from over training. I HRM forced me to slow down further. Suddenly to get real recovery I was running 5 milers in 45 minutes.

Eventually over time, I got stronger, my pace quickened and I got mildly whipped myself back into 34-35 minute 10K range. I can remember what those HRM runs were like. I felt like i was running in jello.

Now it is 18 years later and I am out doing 10-11 minute miles, lugging along, trying to get myself back into some sort of condition where I actually feel like I am a runner again. 3 calf pulls have leveled me. I am more of a walker than a runner. I stand around better than I walk or run. If I can come back, the delta is wide.

Work: I am adjusting. This is not good. I know that I morph. I have trained myself to do it. It is what makes me effective as an influencer. I am going tribal. I can feel myself getting stronger. But it is not good. Not for me. Not at this point of my life. Not here. I find myself looking at the tall girl. She must be over 6 feet. Maybe she is in her 30's. I think about her. I feel like she knows that this hobbit-like older guy is eying her. I think I might creep her out. I am keeping my distance. We talk on email.

It's safe and distant. I am out of my league. I am a fish out of water. Maybe 30 years ago but not now. I

Aloof but friendly.

F-E-A-R.COM

I find myself in a world where how many hours you put in and how much you are willing to do with your own hands is highly valued. Working smart is not.

If I had to cast my client in a some sort of mold or type, I would best say that he is a penultimate defensive fighter, one who can ward off what is coming in but cannot develop and offensive strategy to win a war (in a manner of speaking). So everything is in response to. There is no real counter punch or an overall strategy where his people take the initiative. They are a nice group of very passive folks but they are also drones. Scared of their own shadows. Hard working but frightened.

Today I recommended that we have a brief meeting to update all concerned on an important topic that has been plaguing the company recently. The idea seemed to terrify those I asked. They would rather throw an issue around like a hot potato, while no has a real idea of why we are even dealing with potatoes, than sit down and develop an approach that might head off future issues. I could never pull the meeting together and frankly everyone seemed relieved when it didn't come off.

So the problems are not skin deep and fixable. They are at the core level. They have become part of the DNA and not fixable. This group needs a year of Dan, my very esteemed CFO friend, because the present CFO has taken them as far as they are going to go. He is the Claude Auchinleck of North Africa. The man who stopped Rommel at First El Alamein but could mount an offense. It took Montgomery to develop an effective offensive strategy to throw the Germans back to Tunisia where they eventually were surrounded and lost that part of the war. He is James Longstreet who always counseled that Lee fight defensive battles rather than risk attacking the enemy on their own ground.

So I am headed out to meet my friend Kathy for a Jamba Juice (our place of choice). One of the CFO's right hand men grabs me and ask for me to be involved in a call. I say that I will be glad to do as soon as I get back in about an hour. Everyone else is canceling their respective lunch plans and is looking on in horror.

I say, "Is it not OK for me to take lunch? I didn't take lunch yesterday and worked straight through. Is this the way it is here?"

I don't know anything about the issue anyway (I was never briefed) so before I start making calls I would like to understand what the problem is and why does it always come up just before lunch. Hence the meeting that no one wanted. It's like some unwinnable game. I know what I look like. I look like someone who is not a team player. I look like the short timer I am. I look and sound like everything I have always hated in other people.

But I act very contractorial, go to lunch and check in with the "team" when I get back. They have things under control. They don't need my help. They may have discounted me and that may have to be part of my own strategy. If I go along with this defensive, response oriented approach, I may go mad. I am already getting very snappish and that is very unconsultant-like behavior.

Last year the SF 49ers had a pretty good defensive team and they really did well as long as they never expected their offense to score. A 5-11 record says how that well that worked.

Kathy tells me I should get out. I know she is right. Everyone is telling me to get O-U-T. What's the matter with me?

By the way, I ran 10 minutes this morning after I walked Amber.

Silent Running

Silent running, a stealthy mode of operation for a submarine.

I am going into silent running mode at work and home. It is a Silicon Valley Warrior strategy. Go deep, keep silent and wait for destroyers to pass overhead. I might actually be on the bottom of Tokyo Bay or I might be Nemo's submarine in the 1860's. Not sure but in any case it will need to be THAT quiet.

This job requires a constant change up strategy because of the very backward nature of the work. It's like being thrown back into time. The office environment, except for the casual dress is very 1970's at best.

HR tools and systems interlinked with Finance are not held in high regard. They are non existent. The time saving factor that they would bring are not understood or valued. Pushing large amounts of paper is valued. So the only real impactful short term upgrade I bring is to influence HR headcount and try and convince the CFO that this is a two person job. The rest requires a longer term fight and I just don't want to be there too long. I will go into September, get the coordinator up to speed and then give my notice even if I haven't been told by that time to walk.

The Fault, dear Brutus

Queen Nefernefer sent me an email this morning mildly rebuking me on how to do the correct paperwork on a termination. She copied her boss. Now if M were still here she would have walked down and talked to her but M is gone and I am the bad replacement. I went right up to her and told her that this wasn't going to work with me. M may be gone but she could still walk down and just show me what my error was and I would make every attempt to fix it. I also asked her NOT to start up with the ccing tactic. In my world, you cc someone when there is a need to know, not to document a mistake unless of course you are trying to build a case.

She needn't worry. This gig is not my style and I will try to get out of here as quickly as possible. Right now I am making every attempt to act like I care.

So in the midst of a hectic morning I fought my first minor skirmish versus the chubby queen of payroll. Sorry Nefernefer that M is gone but she got burned out doing this job and I am here to cover the bases until we find the next player.

Of course I wondered why I acted this way. My first day on the job alone after two weeks of knowing that this was not the best place for me. I am on edge. I know that. Foolish commitments to all sides made by me. If I were being asked to really upgrade and change things then it would be a challenge. The one I wrote about several posts back. But my client, the CFO, just doesn't care.

He reiterates. "I guess I'll have to do it myself to do it right." I have heard that one at least a half dozen times in the last few weeks.

So, at the bottom of things, I am just an interim administrator. A job like this could drive a man to permanent retirement.

Cassius:

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings."

Julius Caesar (I, ii, 140-141)

Worked 8 hours straight. No lunch so I took back the hour by just leaving the premises at 5 pm. Very clerk-like but not very like me. Got home and went out for a 30 minute walk with a 9 minute painless jog inserted in the middle. MRI tomorrow.

Sneaking Back

I have been quietly sneaking back into the running scene. I am literally doing it minute by minute.

Seriously.

I walked 70 minutes today and threw in an 8 minute jog in the middle. If the MRI comes up negative then what I am doing is probably the right thing. Just coming back very slowly and staying on the flats and thinking about where I want to be in about 6 months versus next week. Yesterday was 7 minutes. The day before 6 and so on.

I am really far down the feeding chain as far as running is concerned. I am a junior jogger back in the primordial swamp of my exercising existence. I walk therefore I am...

A WALKER!

I told Jake that once I am out of this job and school starts, we can go back to running the dam (or in my case the track.....at first) and then have breakfast.

I told my wife last night over wine that I would rather work than coach high school kids. It would be fun to help Jake now and then but going to the meets and actually trying to have serious conversations with teenagers is beyond my capacity. I can do it but it's not a abiding strength. I am lucky that I can talk to my son but these days he is 22 and knows more than I do. We get along. I like to hang out with him, smoke cigars, whatever.

Back to running. What would it take to create the perfect storm. In other words the right environment for me to train 30-35 mpw and not bonk.

1. Stop working at anything resembling stressful**. Work is a stress and I need to be very choosy about whether it adds or subtracts to my available energy reserves. OK, they are not what they were at age 30 or even 40 but relative to my age my competition, I still have some energy and the question is how to best tap it.

So bottom line: Less work.

2. Get enough sleep. Stress has eaten into my sleep. It's a vicious cycle. Fix number 1 and number 2 will take care of itself.

3. Eat well. That means not overeating but eat what I need to give me energy to compete and recover from my workouts. Eat enough t get down to fighting weight.

4. Be very smart about what I do when I train. I would like to run 5-6 days a week but it may be better to double and take every other day off. I will need to figure this out.

I should be able to do either if I take care of the first 3 items.

5. Learn how to compete again. On my terms but still competition. I can't even begin to approach this unless I take care of the first 4 items. This requires focus and I don't have that right now. I am focusing on not getting enough sleep and work stress and life stress and even though I am a poor man's millionaire, I worry about money. It is undermining things. I am still happy but that may be my nature. But I am not satisfied.

** This may require a work fast. In other words detaching myself from what I used to be when I needed to work because that is the way I am acting right now. I see my friends who have retired doing a good job of this but I, the career coach, the transition coach, can't seem to let go. A work fast means creating a qualifying event that takes me away from work as I know it and put it on my terms.

I need to accomplish the above five things this year. It's mid August already and time is slipping away.

M's Last Day

Yesterday was M's last day at my present gig. She was really burned out. Her disappointment and discontent flared regularly over the last week. She left suddenly at noon. It was an exclamation point to her last day. I knew she would be gone but the pure peace of it didn't really seep in until I got back from an hour walk. Of course it was Friday afternoon and Friday's can be deadsville in many companies. A few people drifted by asking if M was coming back in and I had to break the news.

"Nope. Gone."

Then they would drift off looking somewhat disappointed because now it was only me. The cute waitress who took such good care of them had left the building. Now it was mostly self serve. They'll never like me as much. The very thing that burned M out is the very thing they all appreciated. Heck, I appreciate it too. I just don't want to be that person anymore because I know the price one pays for being the only gateway in and out of the city. The only trash can in the office, if you will.

As I walked down the hall, it was as if I were invisible.

They were hoping the M would somehow miraculously return.

Mildly Exhausted

If New York is the City that never sleeps then I must live in New York.

But I live in Silicon Valley. Maybe for me, New York is just a state of mind because I drove past the Apple Campus the other day and I know that is in the Valley.

I am mildly exhausted. I am dropping off to sleep at various times of the evening and no doubt will nap away part of the weekend.

The new consulting job is overwhelmingly administrative and I am in the "learning process" with the teacher leaving mid day on Friday. No matter what I do, there will be work that I will have no idea (iota) of how to handle. The person I am succeeding will be reachable on a limited basis because she is starting a new job too next week. Between email and phone I will connect with her and in the meantime just accept that I will be very imperfect for the next little while.

The good news (and there in good news) is that I am bringing in an HR Coordinator in two weeks and we can team this thing until I can silently drop back to part time and let her do the day to day stuff. The problem is how to hold off the CFO (he means well) so I can just do the day to day tactical work and not make too many mistakes.

It is strange that my hiatus from running coincides with this new job. I shouldn't run anyway so that the calf can heal up. In any case, I really don't have much time to run anyway.

Work has closed its eager claws around my existence.

So much for time off. So much for sex, drugs and rock and roll. Just the office and it's pitiless reality populated with friendly people.

I haven't let them down yet.

That is coming.

If I can hang in there then all will change and it will not be as before. That will be good. Uncreating administrative mini-Ming Dynasties can be fun.

昭南島, Shōnantō

I have been thinking about a story idea. But then I am always thinking about stories. My document files are littered with story that I began and didn't finish. Death to a writer. The three book I did publish in the 1990's were ones where I stuck with it. This one may have the making of a book that needs to be written. I rattled off the plot to a friend the other day and she sort of hesitated and then said, "That could be a movie."

The idea is fairly simple.

Singapore in the early 1940's just before World War II and the Japanese invasion. Prostitutes are being killed in the city. Very Jack the Ripper style. A British detective who specializes in serial crimes is shipped off to Singapore to help solve the murders. He pursues the case and feels he is getting close when the war breaks out. He is so close to solving it (or so he believes) he keeps passing on chances to evacuate and ultimately gets caught in the net when the Japanese take the city. He is put in a prison camp. Should be the end of the story but the murders go on and in one of the murders a high ranking Japanese official is killed

The Japanese decide to put their best man on the case and in the course of following the trail he comes across the files of the British detective, finds out he is still alive and in Singapore and goes to interrogate him.

This begin a partnership of sorts between enemies who search together for the murderer.

The working title would be Shonanto which is Japanese for Southern City. It is the name they gave to Singapore after it was taken from the British in early 1942.

I am taking a deep breath right now and just trying to handle the new gig. Once I get that under control (if ever) then I can begin to think about the book.

Coming and Going

Two days into my new strategy. Still not up to speed on the admin part of the job but have decided just not to worry too much about it. I will figure it out OR NOT. I have already begun the back filling of the job. Will also try to get in a an admin part time without increasing cost. The key is to keep up the basic services and back fill the job. Not be a hero. I will come and go and be forgotten.

The illustration above reminds me of the place I am consulting at. Top heavy with paper and infrastructure but not with the best design for waging battle.

Called Tami and left her a voice mail (jokingly) to be my admin. She called me back asking me if I wanted her to be my bitch. She knows the score.

"How did you get stuck with this job," she asked.

I could feel her smirk.

Meanwhile back on the ranch, I was having a conversation with one of the IT guys and both us were chatting on about on-line tools where an employee or manager could go in and make their own changes. The departing HR manager looked at me and said very earnestly,

Then what would HR do?

I am not in Kansas anymore, Toto. I am not in the 21st century anymore. I am in some sort of HR time machine, thrown back to the 1960's and 70's in the days well before the concept of on-line tools was more than a flicker in someone's imagination.

The Priest

I am not sure how long ago this actually happened but I believe it was the summer before college. My good friend Dennis and I drove all the way down to San Jose to see the Egyptian Museum. It is a pretty neat place. The museum is build like an Egyptian temple complex and has one of the best collections of artifacts west of the Mississippi. As we perused the collection I noticed one tidbit, a ushabi*, a small figure that was marked as being from the 18th dynasty but had the dates from the 17th Dynasty. I was at the height of my Egyptian period and had read all of the great historical books on the subject that existed in the Burlingame library including Breasted and Steindorff among others.

I got the attention of one of the curators and asked him about it.

"Those dates are based on Steindorff," he told me politely.

"I have read Steindorf," I responded emphatically, "and those dates do not correspond to the dates in his book."

I could see the color draining from this guy's face.

"Well, I will talk to our historian," he said.

"I just thought you would want to know," I added. being young and stupid I should have realized that he didn't really want to know anything. Especially from a young kid like me.

As we walked around after that he followed us, dropping into the shadows if we turned and looked at him or pretending he was in the same room for other business. It was like this until we left to drive home. He acted like some Karloffesque priest. In succeeding years one or both of us would return to the place and he was always there, still shadowing us. Keeping an eye on us. "The Eye". Not just any eye.

Then five or six years passed and neither of had been back. Dennis and his wife, Sue visited the place. Afterward Dennis called me up.

He is still there. He followed us around. Creeped Sue out. I had to tell her the story of how Richard had ruined the Egyptian Museum for us. ;-)

Many more years passed. Maybe 30 years. I visited the museum on business. The old priest was gone replaced by a new priest who knew not Richard and Dennis. The man was very friendly. I held off telling him my story knowing somehow that he too would start shadowing us, lurking just out of sight.

Waiting.




*A small replica of the deceased inscribed with magical spells to assist in the afterlife.

Always be sure you are right and then go ahead

I realize that the only way I am going to feel good about this job is to effect the change I would be implementing if I were staying long term. After next week I am going to go that path, the shining path, to modernizing this one man (or woman) HR function. They hired me, The Silicon Valley Warrior, and I have put them on notice so from now I am going to follow David Crockett's old motto.

Always be sure you are right and then go ahead.

I may not be the world's best Super Clerk but I am one of the best at empowering the managers and getting as much of the HR admin stuff pushed where it belongs. Either back at the manager or to the outside providers. I am sure it is going to be a struggle but it's the way an HR Howard Roark would do it. Learn, understand, decide what changes need to be made and then implement. Of course I am going to have to sell it (to an extent) and drag the CFO along. I'll need his support (to an extent). It will be my gift to him whether they understand it or not.

So now, I have a strategy.

Here goes.

Super Clerk

Now that I have twisted and turned at the end of a rope for the last 5 days, I have committed myself to pitch some innings for a new client. I thought I would be gone but I am not so the challenge is how to up level the very clerical HR function over the next several months while I am sitting in the seat of HR power. We might even call it a throne but more akin to the thrones that can be found on each floor in the bathrooms. If I have to piss or crap I can always go to the bathroom but if I can't make it that far then I go see HR.

That would be me.

I am have decided that I will just go do it and try to win some ground while I am there.

First I had to shock the CFO so he would listen to me. Now I have to learn the base level, clerical stuff just well enough so I don't get slaughtered on the low ground before I have a chance to take the high ground.

If you don't deliver the basic services then no one is interested in what other gems and pearls of wisdom you have to have to share.

The CFO, August 8, 2008


I have no defined strategy..........yet. I spent so much of the week talking myself out of the place I figured I didn't need a plan to be successful. I will reconnoiter for the next week or two while being super clerk and figure out the next steps.

Once an aging runner

I have stopped running. My calf was acting up on Monday during my 65 minute run. No serious pain but I could feel it every time I ran a up something resembling a slope. I talked to Bill Bill Tarr about it Tuesday and he said that I might need an MRI. They sent off paperwork to a place that does this procedure but I haven't heard anything yet.

Regardless I am on rehab.

I am convinced of several things.

I am so screwed. 3 pulls in 6 months. Duh!

I need to stop running for a while. Maybe 6-8 weeks. In the mean time I will walk.

I need to come back on flat courses and very slowly. Bayland trails and tracks. I may be driving places to run at first.

I need to get my calf to the point where I can mildly stretch it and it doesn't give me any problems. No stretching right now. That is for later on.

Massage..massage...massage to break up the scar tissue.

For Lack of a "NO"

Coach Rachelle Disbennett-Lee thanked me for including her advice on burning my ships in my last post. I was glad to do it. Her advice was spot on. And yet less than one day after the post I said yes one last time to help solve the situation I presently find myself mired in. I have agreed to transition part time while they find someone to do a longer transition. In other words, to make it really complex, I am transitioning the transition. So I agreed to half days for the next several weeks. Personally I don't think it will float but I agreed to do it because I feel badly about just dropping the ball. But if it doesn't work I will do just that.

DROP THE BALL!

I think of all the very difficult political situations I have navigated over the years and this is by far the simplest. It has become difficult because once I realized how base level the work was (is) I did not just say no in the first place. Instead I said it in the second place and yet what has changed. I still show up and do this job, even part time, and that in itself is compliant behavior. It is simply another yes followed by a yes.

I need to be less of a guy on this one. Talking instead of doing.

Well enough talking. If it doesn't float I will walk. Life is way too short.

I can see my wife's eyes glaze over while I rehash this over wine. She acts polite but frankly I think she just looks at me as indecisive. I feel indecisive.

Golly gee, I must actually be indecisive.

So Thursday's BIG Rule is to stop talking about it.

Burning my ships

This is not Cortes burning his ships but it gets across the general idea.




Like Cortes, I plan to burn my ships. Actually he may not have burned his ships but only run them aground but the metaphor is the same.

The bad starts are because I am no longer as effective as I have been in the past in the way that I evaluate potential work. I have a tendency not to be callous enough. I tend to say yes when I mean no. Previously, I always took work as it came in but over time that exhausted me. It not only over committed me but it also meant that I spent time doing work I really didn't enjoy.

Time to change or go insane.



This from Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, PhD

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/46587/burn_the_ships.html


One of the keys to reaching your goals is to eliminate any escape routes. It is tempting to retreat to safety and comfort when challenges and difficulties arise. To avoid turning around and abandoning your goals, you must make going forward more compelling then going back.


When striving towards a goal, you must focus on what you want to obtain and avoid the impulse to go back to what you know and to what is comfortable. When Spanish Conquistador Hernando Cortez landed in Mexico, one of his first orders to his men was to burn the ships. Cortez was committed to his mission and did not want to allow himself or his men the option of going back to Spain. By removing this option, Cortez and his men were forced to focus on how they could make the mission successful.


Eliminating an escape route creates a compelling reason to focus on the goal and to keep moving forward. However, it is important to keep in mind that although Cortez had his men burn the ships, he did not have them burn the food and supplies. Cutting off an escape route to increase motivation and create the desire to press on where you might otherwise give up is totally different from throwing caution to the wind and taking undue risks. Reaching your goals still requires prudent planning and managing. All goals contain a certain degree of risk, but it isn't necessary to create undue risk and stress by not properly planning and thus lacking the necessary tools and supplies to achieve your goal. Take risks, but don't be careless or foolish and simply hope that everything will be okay.

Bailing Out

Another bad start. Not running. I am not running at all. Looks like I may need an MRI on my calf but in any case I will not be running for sometime to come. I AM A WALKER. I can do that and the calf doesn't hurt. I am thinking 8-12 weeks. Not sure yet. I just know that coming back early without knowing what this thing is, will do me no good.

On the work front. I am bailing on an interim contract that I just started. Sort of like getting blown out in the first inning. The job was presented to me by a 3rd party consulting company as an HR generalist but the reality is that it is little more than an HR Admin type of job. Very (VERY) clerical. That kept me up two nights. Not the work but the realization that I had to call the organization that referred me in and tell them that I needed to get the hell out of this job. The idea of staying for 2-3 months almost made me ill. I am much tougher than that but the job duties could be done by a new hire out of college or an experienced HR administrator.

Well, at least I didn't wait too long dragging this out. My problem is that I have had 3 of these in the past year. I have also had several good assignments but somewhere along the way my ability to be discerning has eroded. I don't like letting clients down. That's always been my rule and yet in the past year I have walked out on three of them. And just after the first two, I promised myself that I would be more careful and then walked right into it again. Not saying no is not working for me.

Of course it all may be the universe saying that it is time for me to move on. There is no blaming others. The consistency in my predicament is me.

How to become a millionaire (barely).

In 1991 Borland bought a dying whale of a company called Ashton-Tate. The official corporate bulls**t line according to my cigarette smoking, passive aggressive boss was that it was the right thing to do.

Whenever you here that phrase, RUN!

Borland doubled in size, got Dbase and promptly went from a very fast growing, profitable company to a real loser. To this day it is still a also ran, relegated there by it's inspired, arrogant leadership. But that's not the story. The story has to do with a check. One of the two most senior people in Ashton-Tate had a contract that gave him a million dollars if his job went away (and it did go away). I hand delivered the check to him. Of course the payroll taxes and income taxes had been deducted but still the face amount on the check was $666,666.00 give or take a few cents. I had never held a million dollars much less $666,666.00 in my hand. Few people ever have.

The thought occurred to me that I wanted one of those. It took ten years before I actually got one of those from an IPO. Actually it was well over $1,000,000 (plus or minus) with no taxes deducted. We had to take those out ourselves (BIG GULP). The difference was that this was my check.

So I became a millionaire but just barely. I was finally the millionaire next door. That meant I had plenty of go to hell money in the bank but not enough to retire on and just live off the interest from my investments. I had a son who hadn't gone to college yet and that was $100,000 over four years, and I still had a mortgage. Not a large one but large enough. I "retired" in August 2002 from being an employee of anyone but I still had to work. Two big downturns in the economy ate away at the edges of my fortune so I kept working. Sometimes it's full time, sometimes it's part time. I escaped the cage in the zoo but not the habitat. I still showed up at the feeding trough at dinner time.

I was what is commonly now called the poor millionaire. I have the money but I can't live off of it unless I take out some of the principle. So over time it erodes.

I had made it to the top of Everest but was going to have a devil of a time getting down. As Sir Edmund Hillary said (once and I paraphrase), Mallory and Irvine might have gotten to the summit before us but we (Tensing Norgay and Hillary) were the first to get to the top and back down again and that counted for something.

It's only in the past year that I actually exercised that hard won freedom and walked out on two contracts when they turned sour. No, I don't like doing that but I was overdue.

By the way, it felt good.

Got The Call-Long Relief Role

I am coming out of the bullpen for a long relief role. Starts Monday up in San Mateo so there is a bit of a commute. My job is to keep the runners off the bases while holding down the score and looking for the person who will come in to relieve me. It's actually at an old haunt. Fashion Island or what was once Fashion Island. It's basically a tactical start up type role but the company has been around for a few years. It's a one person show and that would be me for the next 2-3 months. So I will be back running on the Bayland Bike Path which mostly consists of windy but paved trails. Once I get comfortable I might even sneak over to Redwood Shores.

It's all old territory for me.

I am calling it a day over at my last long time relief role. Been there on and off for 3 years. Best I quietly slip out of the place.

Travel: The Disease of Corporations

Do Silicon Valley Warriors need to travel? Travel has been the byproduct of new GEO model that many company's tout as the most efficient way to the nirvana of profitability. Except it doesn't work that way. Companies fail today just as they failed years ago when the present model wasn't popular. Having their production in Asia hasn't stopped the bleeding. New technology like videoconferencing has not stopped the travel disease for IMHO that is what it is. Some people have to travel all year and some folks need to travel once a year and the rest don't need to travel at all. But for some reason travel is a sign of status. One company I worked at canceled all unnecessary travel. I thought employees would be relieved but instead many of them showed up in my office whining because they couldn't go to some sales conference or customer visit.

These days with the rising cost of fuel and "the new model" companies say that they save money by taking parts of their business offshore but the spend money getting there and back regularly to see what is happening. I believe certain key people need to do this but the problem is that they often take a retinue of retainers along because they think they need to see whatever it is too. Travel costs and the constant desire to run up air miles so that people can upgrade is a part of the game. Some employees travel to escape responsibility of any kind.

At Sun Microsystems I had the chance to observe two techies in one of my groups who traveled at the drop of a hat but never to where the action was. No one ever called them on it. Of course I only saw two but I knew there were thousands who did this at just this one company. The CEO McNealy insisted that employees fly coach which was smart. But when he found out that one of his former employees had his own corporate jet, he changed his toon, got his own jet and took the warps off of coach only flying.
I can't say I blame him. It's just funny that it was a pissing game that got him to change, not good common sense.

There was one VP who took his whole staff with him quarterly on trips Europe and Asia. That was often 6-10 people in the air off to somewhere (and back of course). When he was fired the BIG trips stopped rather suddenly.

What was the saying? We'll go far to find the right employee. We'll even go to Asia.

Travel is a sickness. It burns fuel and money and profits. There are people who need to travel. OK, I said that. People told me that I would get nowhere in my career if I wasn't willing to travel. I had groups in Asia and Europe. I never traveled there on business.

Never.

I got to Vice President and made several million dollars which is chump change in Silicon Valley. Sort of like climbing Denali instead of Everest. But I got up and back without dying. Fell a few times, got scrapped up but made it back to base camp.

One of HR Managers on the East Coast ragged me constantly about getting out there. I finally told her to stuff it. That's why I have you out there, I said. I went once, finally but by that time she was gone caught up in downsizing. Nice trip. 100 degrees and humid coming out of Logan Airport. Spent 3 days there and came back home.

What did I accomplish? I sat in a few meetings that would have gone off fine without me spending time with people who flew to the West Coast quarterly anyway. So one trip to the East Coast in 6 years at Sun. That was enough.

Would I travel if the need arose.

Yes.

As often as I would want surgery. That often.

Running July 28-August 3

Tuesday

Was too zonked out to run on Monday after the trip back from Seattle so I went out this morning and ran an easy 76 minutes up the RR Tracks. I always feel a bit sluggish after hanging around hotel rooms and airports and today was no difference. But my HR stayed easily under 70% so I decided to just keep going.

Wednesday

Good day! Jake and I ran 3 up and backs in 25:13-24:52-24:40. I kept my HR average under 70% so that showed progress. The one negative was that my left, upper achilles was a tad sore after the second loop so I stuck an extra heel lift in on both sides and got through the last loops with no further problems. Since I have stayed away from the hills I have to wonder what is causing this set back. When I got home I ran another 5 minutes testing the damned thing and there was no problem.

My plan is to take it easy for the next week or two and try not to let this get away from me. I will stay on the flats and take walking breaks. Jake is traveling the next two weeks so I can run my own courses and monitor this.

Friday

I wrapped up my left lower calf and instep with Coban tape and did a 40 minute slow jog in the early afternoon. It was in the 70's but felt hotter. The good news, once again, was no problems with my calf. The bad news was that at one point in the run, I was sure that if I had started walking my pace would have remained the same. Slowly but surely my walking pace and running pace are converging.

Saturday

I slept in (7:30 AM for me). Then I went out and jogged an easy 45 minutes keeping the HRM grooved at 130. The calf and achilles held up. I taped my arch and that was it. I had planned to run another 25-30 minutes in the afternoon but it was hot (80's) and I just decided that it wasn't worth it. Lesson learned. Get out early and get your running done. Doubtful these days that you will come back on a Saturday afternoon during the summer.

28 minutes

I just got back Seattle. My family went up there for a niece's wedding. I have know her for 28 years but have spoken to her for perhaps 28 quality minutes in all that time. I don't mean 28 minutes continuously. I mean 28 minutes total.

Of course I didn't go up there for my niece who I barely know. I went up for my wife who went up for his sister, whose daughter, my niece, was getting married. Now don't misunderstand me, my niece is nice enough. In fact she is the real thing. I have observed her over the years growing up from the pie faces, 5 year child who was the flower girl at our wedding back in 1980, to a tall, friendly, kind young women who was overdue to get married to her long long time boyfriend. They were friends in high school. Now they are in their mid 30's (or getting there). So that big biological clock is ticking.

But that's not the story.

I pretty much dislike big family events even if it's the family I married into. I mean we just up there in February for my nephew's (in-law) funeral which was even a bigger event . 500 people. Maybe more. Every seems to know I hate big family events. I guess I haven't done a very good job of hiding it. I don't mind going to Seattle and seeing a little bit of everyone but hours of 5 minutes of everyone gets tiring even though they are mostly good people. Some of them are evil but in a Lord of the Rings sort of way. It's better they stay that way of the whole book won't be that interesting.

The key to going on this trip (and it was a short trip) was just to totally flow with everything. I decided I could not and would not control schedules, who we saw or even fill that "I hate these events" type of role. So for 48 hours I was in a social free fall and I admit tat it was kind of liberating. As I said to my wife when she asked What do you want to do? I would reply, Whatsoever you prefer. I am just glad to drive you where we need to go.

When our plane threatened to be very delayed coming home I vegged with that too. Airports are not my favorite place to just hand out (book stores are) but I hung swinging by my neck anyway and much to my utter surprise the flight was a grand total of 15 minutes late. I promised myself that I would not complain and I didn't. I took a nap on the flight home. That was nice. Almost like not flying at all. You get aboard, lean back in your seat, put your shades on and the next thing you know someone is telling you that you'll be landing in about 15 minutes.

There are some strange tribal divisions in our family up there. Stuff has happened that is dividing family ties and demanding loyalties. Fortunately because we live far, far away (we might as well be in Mongolia, we are pretty much out of it (whatever it is). At the moment it is subliminal and open warfare is rare. So there were people who talk to us and those who don't. I think those people have self aligned us and assume we're not on there side anymore. For our generation and the one just after us, the innocence is gone. The open spontaneity has been replaced by the numbing effects of career, divorce, child rearing and a potential coming war over inheritance. What was once the Shire has become Rohan and Gondor overshadowed by Mordor and Mount Doom. The search for the rings of power are afoot but few know what they can do much less even what they look like.

I have one ring (the true one of Man) but I keep it hidden, hanging from a rawhide cord looped around my neck.

My best guess is with the passing of the King (my father in law) the war will spring up and rage anew. The critical thing for us warriors from other lands is to stay aloof from the battle to come and let the family hammer it out. In the meantime, I will hold tightly to the one ring.

Running July 21-27

Sidewalks........My World



Monday

I ran 70 minutes but it was broken up by my having to pick up Amber, the twelve year old wonder dog, from the vet. I ran 50 minutes, went and picked up Amber and then ran another 20 minutes. The last half of the second run was really decent. The HRM did not bounce up as it did on Saturday mostly because it was cooler. Even when I moved along at a decent clip, the HRM stayed in the low 140's.

Wednesday

Jake and I ran at Forbes Mill. I think he is seeing the light. He insisted that we run slow, which was fine with me. We ran up and back 3 times staying in the 26's and 27's and keeping my HR under 150. Our total time out was 81 minutes and small change. At breakfast afterward, Jake told me not to let him forget this effort. His legs felt good and he had run 3 up and backs for the first time in a long time.

Friday

I ran 75 minutes this morning. Another slog run keeping my HR in the low to mid 140's. It was already feeling warm by the time I got out of the house just before 9 am. I ran up the RR tracks and added a loop to extend the distance. I kept thinking about bouncing a golf ball on cement and that kept much of the run on the dirt. Easier on my legs.

I still love cement though.

PS, Love cement.

We're flying up to Seattle Saturday for a wedding and I probably won't run up there so this is probably it for the week. If I can I will walk Sunday (if there is time).

Lunch with John

John and I met for lunch today. We've been friends since 1975. It was John who rescued me from being a regional manager for Dairy Belle and then strategized with me on how I could get into Silicon Valley.

We both have been through "it". John and I have never worked at the same company (we tried once or twice but no banana). Between us we have seen just about everything the Valley has to throw at you, both good and bad. The strange thing is that despite our best intentions were both still here. We both did well on IPO's and both reached millionaire status. neither of us were lucky enough to be at a Google or Netscape. We worked at blue collar technology companies where you had to deliver real product before you could go public. This is nether good or bad. It's just the breaks.

Had Transmeta gone public as planned in 1999 we would have fit the Netscape model, probably zoomed up to 100 dollars a share and I would have had a private jet. But because Transmeta was really Transmeta.COM, we were lucky to get out at all in late 2000. Of course by then we were real. It's just that the valley was beginning to tank (think dot com bust).

I am one of the lucky ones though. I made my million (and then some), left Transmeta in the late summer of 2002, took 6 months off and then slid back into consulting in early 2003. I came back to all of those folks who hadn't benefited by the dot com explosion of the late 1990's. If I had GTHM* many of them didn't. I could come and go as I pleased. They couldn't. But at first it made no difference. I was as penned up as the rest of them. Money was nice but my mind couldn't keep up. years back, before my so called career, money wasn't a limiting factor. My mind was already free. 27 years on the chain gang had changed that. It was then that it occurred to me.

I had been brainwashed and they had paid me well, to do it.

That was 2003. Now it is 2008 and I am just beginning to realize what the other freedom is. I use to have it with no cash and now that had cash, I had lost the other vital part of the equation. It's like Oppenheimer. He works for years building the bomb and the realizes what a terrible weapon it is once he sees it explode for the first time at Alamogordo in New Mexico.

What did he think he was building. The world's biggest water balloon?

Yanks bomb Nagasaki! Thousand drown!

What did I think I was going to find at the end of my quest for monetary independence?

The same primitive, boss pleasing brain that had gotten me through the prior 27 years.

What a surprise.

I have come to find that the real work began after Transmeta.

*Go To Hell Money

Let slip the dogs of war

Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war; That this foul deed shall smell above the earth with carrion men, groaning for burial.






Layoffs are like U-Boats. You know they are out there but they are often a surprise regardless.

Execs find reasons to be absent and they leave their line managers and HR to do the dirty work. Then they come back the day after bleating "It was the right thing to do."

The old saying, old men make war and young men fight them is no where truer than when layoffs are in the offing.

I can remember walking into one company as the brand new HR director. At the Friday all hands there were at least a dozen people who knew my reputation and this coupled with a casual remark about my work history made it necessary for me to meet with all twelve, one after the other, to set things right.

9 years later I walked into another company all hands and was introduced as the brand new HR VP. When asked to make a comment I raised up the soft drink I held in my hand and said "Glad to be here," and let it go at that. I had learned my lesson well.

As far as all hands are concerned, and big meetings for that matter, the less said the better. And if you can get away with saying nothing, then that is even better still.

Don't ask

Big Rule for getting work:


Don't ask.


If I ask for work I don't get it. I don't know why. Marketing and sales never has worked for me. My best jobs have come because people called me.

I can help people in my network and I can let them know I am out there looking too but if I stray across the line, I lose.

Twice in the last week I offered my services to people who needed help. One admitted that he could have used me months ago and the other said thanks but the time wasn't right. Each time I walked out to my car asking myself, "Why did I do that?" No desperation on my part. I don't need the work to survive. But in each case I broke my own rule.

With one client, I offered to help over and over again as I watched a specific situation deteriorate. In the end I stopped asking. Months later they asked me to come in and fix things as if I had never brought up the idea myself. This is a constant lesson for me.

Offering without being asked weakens me. It undermines my freedom. It undermines my sense of myself. They have to ask me. I have earned that much freedom.

Batman Assualts Mother & Sister (maybe)

He may have gotten Batman mixed up with Count Dracula. It is easy to do.


Report: 'Batman' accused of assaulting mom, sister

By RAPHAEL G. SATTER, Associated Press Writer 18 minutes ago

LONDON - Batman star Christian Bale was arrested Tuesday over allegations of assault, British media reported.

British media had reported that Bale's mother and sister complained they were assaulted by the 34-year-old actor at the Dorchester Hotel in London on Sunday night, a day before the European premiere of his latest film, "The Dark Knight."

The women made the allegation at a local police station in southern England on Monday, Britain's Press Association news agency said. It later said Bale had been arrested, citing "police sources."

How to be Lawrence of Arabia

This is also an idea who's time has come. Lawrence was many things.

Straight, Gay, Bi? Who knows. Liked to have himself whipped.

A great influencer for sure. A loner of the first order. A Changer of history. A man who made something important happen. A person who dreamed with his eyes wide open and made his dream a reality.

Great movie even though Peter O'Toole was a head taller than the real Lawrence.

So these are some of the chapters.

How to speak Arabic
How to ride a camel
How to go long periods of time without water
How to influence people who initially don't give a dam about you
How to sleep on the ground
How to be British
How to be an Arab
How to shoot a gun
How to survive shooting your camel in the head (by mistake of course)
How to come in and out of a room without being noticed
How to be friends with women while avoiding sex
How to have friends in high places
How to write a BIG book
How to get your weight down under 100 pounds
How to find good servants
How to cross the Nefud, the worst desert in the world.
How to be a horses ass when ever you feel the yearning
How to dominate a meeting by being the last person to speak
How to be promoted from a lieutenant to a Colonel in 4 easy steps
How to go from Colonel to private
How to get along without money
How to think out of the box. Any box.
How to ride a motorcycle without a helmet.

Ronin

These days I am a Ronin or a warrior with no master.

That describes a true consultant.

Someone once wrote that when you are a servant at least you want to be the very best servant that the master has. For so long that was my problem. I wanted to be the trusted right hand of the leader. What I found was the undying loyalty was two handed or maybe better described as backhanded. The same hand that patted you on the shoulder and told you that you had done a fine job could also be used to slap you hard when you made a mistake or did not so the task the way the master would have wanted it done.

But to be a warrior often means to be a servant and to be a servant means to be under the direction and control of another.

I have had many masters over the years. Some were benign and some were to be respected. I learned from them. But some were little more than bullies in the clothing of a warrior. The only thing I learned from them was that loyalty meant little or nothing. You were used and then discarded. Oh they used fancy words to lure you in and keep you close and the same fancy words while they slipped a dagger into your side.

That is the reason I became a Ronin. I could still wield the weapons of my trade but I owned nothing to any single an (or woman). I did not want to come in from the cold as many warriors do. I wanted employment but not on their terms.

So I slip through many kingdoms and along the way there are those who eye my independence and ask what it takes to be like me.

The answer is the same but they don't want to hear it any more than I did when I was in their place.

The ability to say "no" I tell them. The ability to walk away if things aren't to your liking.

Some months ago I sat across from one of those masters who had lured me in changing and editing his promises as we went along. Eventually he told me that I was not a team player and that I was too meek. He played words like some play music on a violin. He spoke of strength while asking me to yield and kneel. That was his game. He always forced his people to their knees. I had seen it again and again. Now he was trying it with me. I thought about it for a time. Yielding is so easy. It is like giving into the cold high up on a mountain and sleeping that dreamless sleep that eventually becomes death. Except in this sleep you do not die.

I thought about what I had fought for over the years. I knew the answer in my warrior, Ronin heart.

So I listened to him impassively but at the end I stood up and with great restraint thanked him for his wisdom. Then I walked out, drove home and sent him this message.

Best for both of us if I push on. I am sure you'll agree.

This was not a good fit for either side.


You see for me when he played his violin, there was no music.

On the Running Front

I ran an easy 45 minutes on Friday morning keeping my HRM in the 120's and 130's. It was cool and overcast.

On Saturday I got going late so I ran 20 minutes of calorie burning slow stuff before having a light coffee laden breakfast with my club. I did quaff several energy bars on the way over. Then I came back in the early afternoon and ran another 60 minutes of what turned out to be a difficult challenge of trying to stay under 70%. It was warmer but not hot. Still it was warm enough to make me have to walk on a half dozen occasions when the HRM read over 150. Frankly I was glad when I hit the hour mark. I stopped on the spot and walked back to the house. My best guess was that I was light on carbs and not really very well hydrated. I felt OK though. The HRM tends to do that. It just keeps me from running any harder than I need to on a given day.

I stepped on the scale today for the first time in months. I am about 5-6 pounds away from my goal weight. Only a pound over my racing weight.

The New Job: The First Day

I always found it exciting to start a new job. Of course finding the bathrooms was critical unless you felt comfortable taking a piss in the parking lot or the memorial grove planted in remembrance of some departed employee. Usually a company HR person would walk me around and orient me to where the pit stop was. Above is Dale, HR weenie asking for my help in finding the toilets. She had just plain forgotten where they were located. The running water was a big clue. It also turned out to be a big problem.

Call the plumber!

I never really liked new hire orientation. It was the awkward day where you got the company spiel and signed all of that important paperwork. Then you are released to your hiring manager only to find that your phone ain't hooked up and your computer isn't connected.

So you sit there reading manuals and if you are lucky, you get to attend some unimportant meetings.

Of course I am very philosophical about the first day. I just keep smiling, don't complain and get past it. I know all to soon I will be involved and in the know so I might as well enjoy the brief respite from the heck (in place of Hell) of corporate life.

Taking a Xanax helps too.

There is going to be a layoff and.....

I first heard those words in May, 1983. My manager, Ming the Merciless* called me in at 9 AM in the morning.

"There is going to be a layoff," he said, "and it is going to affect you."

Well, Hell Ming* I knew there was going to be a layoff. I had already come in early and cleaned out my desk.

I got a heads up the day before. Facilities always knew ahead of time and I had friends of friends over there. The word leaked out. I was on the list.

It's OK, Ming.

Of course a month ago, sensing things were going to get bad I had gone out and interviewed with another company and had gotten a nice offer. I took it into Ming and he told me in effusive and flowery language that the company really wanted me to stay and that I would be one of the last ones ever laid off.

It's OK, Ming. You don't have to go through the whole script. Legal had given him one those layoff scripts. Some managers just can't do it on the their own.

I was already out the door. Just end the damn speech. I am ready to go already.

Ming felt guilty and slung me some extra severance. I just thanked him for not throwing me to the clay people or vaporizing me with the death ray.

Ready to go, Ming.

This was my first layoff. There were two more to follow. Another in 1986 and my last official one on 1992.

So I have been to the show. Rich knows layoffs.

So here are just a few of the dozen or so BIG RULES that I have learned about layoffs.

1. Get out of Dodge quickly. I try to get out of the building as quickly as I can. I do best when I move on. I can always send an email or phone people I care about back there. But I can't tarry. I need to move on because I am now looking for another job and it's not back there. It's out there. So I want to get out there as quickly as possible.

I have a good friend who had 17 boxes of personal stuff in his office when the reaper finally caught up with him. It took him all day to get out of town. Now he is working for a new company but he keeps his personal stuff at home.

2. Start networking as soon as possible. It's going to take time to get your job search momentum going. You may stumble onto something early on but for the rest of us, it takes time. 5-10 touches a day. A touch is an email, a phone call or coffee, breakfast, lunch or dinner related to your search. By the way, it can take 100-200 touches to get a job. So get going!

3. Don't spend too much time focusing on the resume. I hear people say all the time "Oh, I have to work on my resume and then I will kick things into gear." Since most jobs are filled through referral, who you know is way more important than what your resume looks like.

4. Don't stop pushing your search until you have a signed offer letter for a job you want. It's way too easy to lose momentum if you reign in and it is hard to get the ball rolling again.

Layoffs aren't for sissies. You have to man up (or woman up). The search process, as tough as it can often be, makes you more self reliant and let's you know that you have the ability to find another job.

No job is the job. No company is the company. Remember that. Give them 100% while you are there but understand, it can be yanked away any time a company sees fit. All you have is your skills and knowledge and ability to find another place to work. You can take that anywhere.

*Ming is not my manager's real name. I called him this to protect his actual identity. I mean if you knew his actual name was Jim, that would make it much easier for you to figure out who this guy actually was.

LET'S PANIC

People are panicking about the economy. Like a bunch of cattle. Stampeding across the prairie until they exhaust themselves. Yes, there were thousands of bad housing loans made by banks. Yes, the price of oil is up (OK, way up). Suddenly the economy is the BIG issue not the war in the Middle East. And there is nothing any of can really do about it. The war, the oil or the bad loans. So what do we do? We panic and in our spare time participate in a run on our respective banks.

We learned very little from the Vietnam War. One generation and we already have ourselves entangled in a no win war in the Middle East which by the way is absolutely one of the worst places to be conducting this sort of operation.

We learned almost nothing from the gas crisis of the 1970's. Instead of reducing our dependency our Middle Eastern Oil, we decided (somehow) that answer was to go one a SUV binge.

We learned very little from the Dot Com bust of the 2001-2002. It was bad. Really bad. Like base jumping with no chute. We panicked that time around too. Putting good money into bad investments. That time it was companies with no there there. This times it was banks making zero down loans (HOW STUPID WAS THAT).

But we can't change any of this. But we can panic so that is what we do.

It has not occurred to us to simply stop watching the panic mongering news on TV, in the paper and on the web. Time for a news fast. I am not talking about sticking our heads in the ground. Make sure your investment are OK if you must and then turn your attention to something else.

Over time we'll all settle down and find some other stupid thing to occupy our minds. I mean we haven't invaded Iran and Syria yet (RIGHT). There is still time.

Or we could just cut our dependence on foreign oil.

Wow, what a concept.

AT Run

Forbes Mill this morning. I ran one easy up and back in 24:30 never going over 70% of max. Jake showed up and wanted to bash a loop and I thought what in the heck did I have to lose so I went up again getting my HR up into the 85% range as quickly as possible. I stayed there up to the dam reaching it at just over 11 minutes and then came back down allowing my HR to drift up to 90% on occasion. I was back to the Mill in 21:17. Nothing outstanding but at least I accomplished two things.

1. I set a standard for that course.

2. It was my first run since late May that I pushed into AT so it was good to feel that effort again. No question that I could have run under 21 if I had not paid attention to the HRM.

I warmed down enough to make this 6 miles total.

The Batman Handbook

Now here's an idea who's time has come. This author wrote a book, or maybe we should call it a manual, on how normal guys can become Batman. I looked inside and it really delivers. here are some of the topics covered within the book.

"How to make a quick costume change"
"How to train a sidekick"
"How to build a Batcave"
"How to drive the Batmobile on two wheels"
"How to do a backflip"
"How to slide down the Bat-Pole"
"How to Throw a Batarang"
"How to disarm a gunman"
"How to take a kick to the head"
"How to take out a room full of goons"
"How to search for clues"
"How to extract a confession"
"How to withstand poison kisses"
"How to withstand hypnosis"
"How to break free of bindings"
"How to Blend into the shadows and slip away"

So why is this book timely?

Well, I was just thinking about what the delta was between what I am now which is basically 5'7" and 140 pounds and Batman who is like 6 feet tall and 180 pounds (or more). Of course Batman is perennially young and has his own theme music and I am older than dirt and no one has written a theme song for me.

Maybe I should set my sights a bit lower. Uh, I was thinking of something like the following.

The Lawrence of Arabia Handbook.

I think my chances of being a top flight camel rider are higher than being able to withstand poison kisses. I can take a kick to the head (from some pretty viscious bosses) and I know I blend in well with shadows and I have been known to slip away from quite a few company Xmas parties in my time.

Batman or Lawrence of Arabia? It's hard to choose.

Went further

I ran 65-66 minutes today. I wore the (HRM) heart rate monitor and stayed under 70% the whole way. I am very clear now that this is the way I need to train. Every other day, use the HRM and forget the rest.

1 X and 10 X

Joan sent me a message. Edited slightly to protect her identity.

Hi Rich,

I submitted my letter about 2 weeks ago, but last day will be 1 August.

In the long run (and justly as likely the short run), I think this is the best decision, considering that I have solid financial resources.

I definitely valued your input, and I think your instincts were *very* on. I did expose their total lapse in following up with me during my evaluation period -- this worked to my advantage.

Crummy boss is away for wedding ceremony and honeymoon.

With my appreciation to you, always!

Joan.

Ann had the misfortune to be working for a two headed boss. Actually, two in a box. There was the so called good boss, who always deferred to the crummy boss. The crummy guy was one of those bigger than life types who was very slippery, non confrontational and ubiquitous. Always on the move, rarely in the office and a top flight seagull manager. Flies in, poops on your head and flies back out. If Joan had stayed in this job she would have been dying.

In fact there are a lot of good folks dying out there in the world of work (WOW).
Joan is lucky. She has money in the bank. She could leave a toxic situation like this.
Most people don't put GTH (Go To Hell) money in the bank. 6 - 12 months is usually enough.

My friend Ivan said it well.

1 x your annual take home and you don't owe anything to that job.

10 x and you don't owe anything to any job.

Motivation and running

I am drifting back into running. My motivation is low even though my body seems ready. I ran 30 minutes yesterday and 40 minutes (plus) today. I feel so removed from anything approaching fast even though I continue to be engaged at breakfast. Of course that is eating and talking. Tom, who was sitting next to me, asked why I decided to stop racing. That was back in 1995. I told him that the race times I was running were my motivation for staying in the game and they had dropped off significantly from my best years of competition. Even though they were competitive for my age group I was no longer motivated by them. As you age you don't get faster, especially if you have been racing for 25 years. Age is a relentless competitor, said Bill Bowerman.

Tom asked me if I could see why other runners would keep on competing even though they were slowing too. I told him that I could absolutely see it. Mine was a simply personal choice only meant to pertain to me.

If I went back to racing, I would go with a clean mental slate (and that would be the challenge). So if my first race was 25 minutes for 5K then that would be my PR. The days when I could run 10 minutes faster would be irrelevant. I gave away my trophy's and medals a few years back. I have never missed them. For all I know they are being reused in some youth program or moldering is some land fill. For me it was never about awards. It was always about being the fastest runner I could be on a given day.

I always like the journey and I have thought about racing again but starting clean. But you have to forget about they way it used to be. It's an anchor otherwise.