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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Bad Night at Black Rock

Bad night's sleep. Got the heebie-jeebies about our investment portfolio. I was so nervous that I went out on a run anyway. 62 minutes for 6 miles. I just took it as slow as I could. I almost fell asleep on the run.

Fighting off desire to stay at client. Things are better but the job still doesn't report to the CEO. It's still a finance job and that is clearly out of bounds for me.

Need to work on being calm. Yeah Xanax works but I need something else. Yoga. Meditation. The running helps big time as slow as it is. Give me a big crisis and I am fine but give me the day to day seige stuff and it wears me down.

Don't think that the real David Crockett just doesn't want to drop over that wall and take my chances out there. But this Davy Crockett just can't.

Surely thought by Davy Crockett while at the Alamo.

Late in the day I talked to Priscilla. Looks like I will be going back into SIMG as a recruiter. Normally it would be a contract job but I wanted it this time just because it wasn't. I get to work with really good HR people and I get medical benefits. I know the organization as well as anyone. The job is low enough in the hierarchy so that I can do some good without being distracted by rank and the innumerable meetings and garbage that go along with it. I can focus on what I do well.

Mostly it is the last stand of the Silicon Valley Warrior. The Thermopylae of my career.

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