Haunting

We're all having problems missing Amber. I was home alone today on the computer upstairs in the den. I heard a slight rustle of dog-like footsteps on the landing The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I shivered slightly and went to the doorway and looked out at the landing where Amber usually burrowed up against the wall. Of course she wasn't there but I felt her presence. Maybe just a very vivid memory of her. I don't believe in an afterlife but as a Christian friend told me the other day, "That's where I am fortunate. I believe in an afterlife. In my world you'll see Amber again."

I am willing to settle for her haunting us as some guardian spirit if that is her wish. None of us would mind.


Amber would do this. Lying on the floor with her leg
and paw across my arm.


I found this on the following site:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/bar-art/76183167/in/set-1518578/

Another 75 minutes

Jake and I resumed our Thursday runs at Forbes Mill. As usual he was exhausted from too much running and working on his house. I was fresh legged after two days off. We did a couple of up and backs. I had run before and added on some more running afterward. 75 minutes total. My legs felt OK. I had originally planned to run an AT loop but decided against it. Laziness was the factor. It was just cold and early and not the best conditions.

On the work front. The new CEO is on board. Our 3rd in 3 months. Of course since I am leaving for once I don't care. I have made no attempt to meet with him. He is a blank sheet of paper to me. BLANCO. Very similar to my last few months at Transmeta back in 2002. We had just hired a new CEO and people would keep saying "You ought to meet with him. You know the company better than just about anybody." I came close once but when he canceled due to a scheduling conflict I never tried to reset the meeting.

That's what I am doing here.

Leaving.

In a month (or less) I should be as compelling as oatmeal without raisins.

Then I am going to disengage completely from the world of work for 3 months to see what it feels like. OK, if someone calls and it is interesting, I will talk. But the market is quiet and unless I try (and my plan is not to try) I will be retired.

Amber 1995-2010

Amber the wonder dog


RIP

November 13th 1995 to January 12th 2010

75:01

I crushed the 75 minute barrier today!

75:01!!!!!

45 minutes this morning and another 30 minutes at lunch. I would have run further this morning but I was unnerved when I dropped one of my gloves into the urinal at the college. I washed out the glove right on the spot in one of the bathroom sinks but realized that the better part of valor was either tossing the gloves (they are cheap brown cotton gardeing gloves) or getting them home and into the washing machine. I chose the latter.

Luckily it wasn't that cold so my gloveless hands didn't freeze.

My legs were murky at best. I felt no residual soreness from yesterday's sterling 23:38 (cough...cough). If I was of a mind to, I probably could run every day as long as the pace was slow enough. Maybe in the world without work (WWW) I might be motivated enough to try this but I doubt it.

23:38

ran that 5K AT run up in GG Park in SF in 23:38. This was 25 seconds faster than the last time which was about a month ago. The course was relatively flat but still had two good little hills and some rollers sprinkled throughout. I found it harder to drive up my HR because it was cold and damp but at least not windy.

So some improvement over the last time but still quite a bit behind what I was doing back in 2007. If I age grade my efforts now, my run today was worth an 18:12. My 21:08 in 2007 was worth 16:38. So I have slipped down the age grading curve even just running AT.

So what can I do about it? Or better yet what will I truly do about it? Smiling

1. I will run more minutes every other day. Not sure how high I will take this but it will help with number 3 (below)

2. I will do more AT workouts. I have felt awkward running AT but that's really because I have spend very little time at that specific effort. Not like it's that hard but your body gets ready to do something because your body gets used to doing it.

3. I need to lose some weight. I am also heavier by about 5-7 pounds heavier than I like to be. This I can accomplish, as long as I do it slowly. Usually a pound every week or two is fine. I have a small bicycle tire (rather than a spare tire). I can see it when I look in the mirror.

4. I am quitting regular full time work. This could be a biggie. Work was draining me. Back to consulting or retirement (which means no more bosses!!!!!!!)

5. I will add in several days of hour walks. I did a heck of a lot of walking back in 2008 when I was injured. It's funny to say but I will have to get back into walking.

Given all of this I am not sure what the effect will be. Sometimes runners at my age who take time off don't come back. 2008 was a very, very spotty year. I missed a great deal of running and 2009 was basically a get back in shape year but even the track reps didn't really help the way I thought they would. I ran stuff too fast and this combined with work stress probably did more to drain my energy rather than build strength.

There's nothing further here for a warrior.

I am leaving my job again. It feels normal because that has been a pattern in my work life since forever.

I talked to my boss several weeks back and told her that I couldn't stay unless I had the bandwidth to do the strategic work the company needed versus the tactical work that had become the norm for the last 3 months.

You have to choose, I said.

Do the safe but short sighted thing or do the thing that might save the company.

I didn't envy her. I knew intuitively she would choose the former.

It is so safe to bury yourself in process. In time she'll be looking for her next job.
She made her choice.

So I depart on March 1st. I have been ready to leave since early November.

          There's nothing further here for a 
          warrior. We drive bargains. Old men's 
          work. Young men make wars and the virtues 
          of war are the virtues of young men; 
          courage and hope for the future. Then, 
          old men make the peace. And the vices of 
          peace are the vices of old men; mistrust 
          and caution.

          Ah, yes. But then Aurens is a sword with 
          two edges. We are equally glad to be rid 
          of him. Are we not?

A squall or two

Ran 45 minutes at lunch today. HR in the 130-140 range. Not sure if it was because I was rested or the cool weather. In any case, it was a good run marred only by a rain squall or two that passed over the Baylands forcing me back to my car to retrieve my cap.

The plan for Sunday is to run another of those pesky AT 5K runs. This one is up in Golden Gate Park (again) but the course is more forgiving than last time. I will take Saturday off so I am relatively spry come Sunday morning.

Test Course #1 - 37:38

I ran 60 minutes this morning with test course #1 thrown in at 70%. I covered the distance in 37:38 or 25 seconds faster than last week. Conditions were about the same except that I threw in a 10 minute easy warm up and ran 13 minutes after. One of these days I ought to measure the course. I am guessing 4 miles but maybe not. The distance is less important than my getting faster over time.

I took a day off from work and lazed around not getting out until mid morning.

A preview of my life come spring.

No, I did not run

I didn't run today. No the sky didn't fall in and the earth was not swallowed up in a cataclysmic event. Things just got too tight at work (the job I plan on leaving soon...remember???).

Since I am planning on running Sunday I can still sneak in workouts on Thursday and Friday or possibly Saturday as a backup. In any case I will get my 4 dinky days this week in somehow.

DINKYDINKYDINKYDINKY

Real Double

Did the real double today. 2 x 35 minutes in ole style. I ran 35 minutes this morning before heading off to work and then doubled back at lunch for another 35. I lucked out. Clear and cool this morning and clear and moderate at noon. Perfect running weather.

On the work front, I am architecting my departure. If all goes well I may be out of there by the end of February or early March. At best I stay but part time. I doubt there will be the budget for it and I won't cling or hold on. Well, I acted clingy the next day for several nanoseconds and then got over it.

I will miss the people but not the tasks. I have been over ready to leave since last November.



New Rules (or old rules).

Don't try to extend this thing. If someone asks you to stay, to do the type of work you are best at, then fine but otherwise you are leaving.

Act like a consultant

Use this card if all else fails

Cut Here

Shaking it out

I didn't hurry out for a run. Decided to go for breakfast. Did a 10 minute shakedown before heading over to breakfast but very little shaked out. Got down to Carrows for breakfast with the club. Passed a roaring car fire on my way in.

I waited until around 12:30 PM to finally go out and run. The weather was overcast with mild temps and very little wind. I ran another 50 minutes at a clip (whatever that is). I ran over to the college and did big loops around the soccer field and track.

A 60 minute day.

Test Course #1 - 38:03

I ran a test course at around noon today. The course is from my house, up the railroad tracks, down McClellan to the college and onto the track. I then do 4 big loops around the track and come home the same way I went out.

I don't know the distance.

My educated guess is around 4 miles. It's OK if it's not. Right now I don't care. The purpose of the course is not the distance but rather the average HR and time.

My goal today was to run it at 148-152 HR or 70%. The elapsed time today was 38:03.

I start out quickly which is relative for a guy bearing down on 65 years old. I try to get my HR up in my target range as quickly as possible and then try to stay there for the rest of the run. The painful part is having to slow down to stay down under 152.

My goal is to run the course once a week. Every now and then I will run it at 158-160 HR or roughly 75%.

If the times come down for both the 70 and 75% test efforts then whatever I am doing is working. If it gets slower then I am blowing it.

My focus for 2010 is no longer going to be to see how fast I can at the top end. I enjoyed the workouts last but my right achilles and calf started to come apart.

Now my focus {{{the new focus}}} will be to see if I can improve at 70%, 75% and 90% efforts.

I might run a 70 & 75% effort weekly but the 90%'ers will be about once every 3rd or 4th week.

Quite sense of quiet

Cold but not wet. I ran an easy 62 minutes this morning. My legs felt good but no flickering sense of speed. Just a flickering sense of slow.

The track was mostly empty and quiet. Old folks scattered here and there. The clapping woman except she doesn't clap much anymore. I ran the perimeter of the soccer field and the big loop around the track. The new years resolutions haven't been made yet (only to be broken). I expect more temporary folks after January 1st.

Hung

Cold and overcast. Ran 60 minutes very slowly. Thought about cutting it short more than once but I hung in there until I knew my return trip would get me to an hour.

Skipped Club

I ran an easy 58 minutes on Saturday morning. Skipped the club breakfast so I ran later in the morning.

Back to back

I did a back to back running again today. I waited until mid morning before going out. I did another 60 minute run slow and plodding as usual but my legs felt OK and the weather cooperated with low 50's, sunny and little or no wind. I ran around the neighborhood and then headed over to the college. I did my usual combination of big loops around the track and soccer field before heading back home.

Another cold run

I got out early again this morning. Temps in the 30's. At least there was no wind. I was dressed to the "9's". Ran 62 slow slow minutes. Legs felt fine, just old and cranky. Over to the college and back. The track was almost deserted. I passed an Asian guy who i often see running there. It is rare that I pass anyone. We chatted for a few moments and then I moved on.

60 minutes of nothing

We had out annual Xmas dinner Sunday evening. I didn't drink very much but I ate a hell of a lot of food. Slept poorly. Woke up early (5 am) dozed a bit and then finally rolled out of bed at 6 am. Poured coffee down my gullet and tried to get myself going on all 4 cylinders.

Alas it was not to be. I ran anyway but it was on two cylinders (clunk..clunk...) under relatively clear skies. The rain was supposed to come but it was late morning by the time it came down in sheets. I had already completed 60 minutes of nothing running at barely more than a walk. I have found, Brian Clark foretold, that if i run slow enough, I can get it done.

Two day running week

Thursday

Yes, that's right. T-H-U-R-S-D-A-Y! I didn't run Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday. Sore right achilles and calf dictated some rest. So on Thursday morning I drove up to Forbes Mill and ran for 75 minutes. I fired up the HRM and kept my effort in the 65-70% range. The whole run felt good. Not that fast but good! My average for both up to the dam and back was 25 minutes each trip. I also ran over the high scool twice by various routes adding more time.

My calf tightened up after the run but nothing that seemed dangerous.

Ice, advil and massage should keep me on the path.


Saturday

Cool with a heavy mist in the morning so I passed on running until noon. The sun was breaking through and it was warming up nicely when I went out and ran 65 minutes of easy stuff keeping my HR in the 135-140 range. It is supposed to rain Monday so I may go back to back and run again tomorrow.

24:02

Monday

It dropped below freezing last night and while it was rain hitting the streets in front on my house, it was snow up in the hills. I got out just around 8 AM after drinking a gallon of hot coffee. I was dressed to the 9's and 10's wearing my new compression tights, my old high tech Gortex rain jacket, hat and gloves. I slogged an easy paced 60 minutes over to the college and back and called it a day.









Wednesday





I ran early so I could get to work for a meeting that ended up being postponed. GRRRRRRRR!





I felt like I was running in soft concrete. It was about 30 degrees out so I lumbered along for 62 minutes of very slow stuff. The good news was that it was clear and there was no real wind. The correct definition was that it was "crisp" outside.



Friday



I took the last two days off. I will run again on Saturday and again on Sunday. The plan for Saturday is a 45 minute easy slow run and Sunday will be a 5K AT run up in Golden Gate Park. The course is far from perfect. Slightly uphill and rolling going out and the reverse coming back. This will be a "truth" run. It will tell me more about myself and my present conditioning than anything else I am presently doing.



So what does AT mean? It means that I will run the 5K with my heart rate in the 88-92% range with an emphasis on 90%. This is far from an all out effort. In fact it gets easier as it goes along because if done right, the runner (in this case moi) will have to slow down to stay at or under 90%.

Saturday

Wet and windy this morning. I went out for a light breakfast with the club and then ran too soon afterward. I had to stop several times early on to digest the toast I had eaten an hour before and finally settled down for a 50 minute very easy run.

Sunday

I drove up to Golden Gate Park with Shel to run a 5K (Dolphin Club). Conditions were Dwight-like. Wet and cool. The course was not an easy one with gradual up hill and rolling going out, a nice surprise hill about half way and then a gradual coming back down to the finish highlighted by a nice "quartering" head wind coming in from the ocean.

I have run most of the Dolphin course but I have never run this one (at least so I remember). Frankly, not a good course for an AT run. It started on JFK drive and climbs up to the top of the park and then swings up a side street (uphill) and then swings back onto JFK & back to the finish.

I warmed up for 21 minutes. My legs felt fine.

I got off to a good enough start but it took about a mile for my HRM to read accurately. It could be a weak battery. Going out it was stuck on 95 for a long time so I was guessing whether I was running at AT or not. After about 7 minutes it suddenly kicked in gear and read 173 which was about right. Then coming back we had that surprise hill and my HR edged up to 179-180 but I was actually running without any undue duress. As we came back on the main drive back to the finish the wind slowed me down and I basically fought to stay at or under 180 all the way in.

When I saw the clock at the finish line I was not not too shocked to see 24:02. Pretty pathetic but given the wind and the hills I really didn't beat myself up too much. The plain fact is that I am a heck of lot slower than I was 2-3 years ago when I could still run an AT 5K around 21 minutes give or take (on a flat course).

The good news is that running in the high 170's felt very much like an AT effort has always felt so my best guess is that my max HR is still well over 190.

The less than good news is that either the course and conditions were tough but also that my body is having its usual singularly "Rich Stiller" reaction to any sort of continual speed work. It slows down. I think it is a combo of all of the above.

I am nursing a slightly sore right achilles tendon but that was not a slowing factor today.