Old Horse

I met up with Jake at Forbes Mill this morning. We did a 25 minute warm up and then went and ran an up and back at effort. Jake caved pretty quickly and dropped. Not his day nor mine either. I hung in and ran 22:50 under control but not at my best. I really did not feel energetic. Certainly not as good as several weeks back.

Running is a chore these days. I have come to accept this fact. I no longer flow along with power. Instead I pull myself along like a rickety wagon attached to an old horse. I could stop running and not miss it much. There are many more of these types of days then "good" days. I am working full time and that itself is a chore so it is harder to balance work and other things effectively. I like my job. That is a bonus. I can still go in harms way but I am the Bonhomme Richard, not the Ranger.

Better to have an old ship than none at all?

First negative at work. My co-worker has told me over and over that she wants to learn from me so today I taught and she pushed back, hard. I figured out that she wants to learn but her way and that is fair enough. Still, an unpleasant experience. I will just back away slowly. She is bringing way too much of her home life into work and talking loudly on the phone. We're in cubes so I hear it all. She has three kids and spends a great deal of time parenting and bossing around her ex via the phone.

On the other hand she has good instincts about what makes sense for the business and what does not. She reads people well but is rough around the edges on how she delivers messages. She has drawn a very thick black and white line on issues and doesn't do well in the gray areas. I was trying (ineffectively) to show her how to navigate that grayness but she was having none of it. So I backed down and told her to do it her way.

I intend to keep a slight distance. When she needs strategic help she can come to me. I will be very specific in finding out what she wants before I share anything. No more teaching. That has to be out. There is a mine field around her. She is a very mixed bag. Honesty with a very sharp edge.

I guess I can't escape this. My version of Howard Roark and the idea of the Dean. With me it is the payroll manager at Guidewire, the high school girl that I coached several years back, my colleague at this job, the CEO at the start up and Andrew and PLM. I am not a good teacher. Better for me to set my own standard and let them follow if they are interested. The way I did it at Sun.

You would think I would learn.