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Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Batman Handbook

Now here's an idea who's time has come. This author wrote a book, or maybe we should call it a manual, on how normal guys can become Batman. I looked inside and it really delivers. here are some of the topics covered within the book.

"How to make a quick costume change"
"How to train a sidekick"
"How to build a Batcave"
"How to drive the Batmobile on two wheels"
"How to do a backflip"
"How to slide down the Bat-Pole"
"How to Throw a Batarang"
"How to disarm a gunman"
"How to take a kick to the head"
"How to take out a room full of goons"
"How to search for clues"
"How to extract a confession"
"How to withstand poison kisses"
"How to withstand hypnosis"
"How to break free of bindings"
"How to Blend into the shadows and slip away"

So why is this book timely?

Well, I was just thinking about what the delta was between what I am now which is basically 5'7" and 140 pounds and Batman who is like 6 feet tall and 180 pounds (or more). Of course Batman is perennially young and has his own theme music and I am older than dirt and no one has written a theme song for me.

Maybe I should set my sights a bit lower. Uh, I was thinking of something like the following.

The Lawrence of Arabia Handbook.

I think my chances of being a top flight camel rider are higher than being able to withstand poison kisses. I can take a kick to the head (from some pretty viscious bosses) and I know I blend in well with shadows and I have been known to slip away from quite a few company Xmas parties in my time.

Batman or Lawrence of Arabia? It's hard to choose.

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