Don't ask

Big Rule for getting work:


Don't ask.


If I ask for work I don't get it. I don't know why. Marketing and sales never has worked for me. My best jobs have come because people called me.

I can help people in my network and I can let them know I am out there looking too but if I stray across the line, I lose.

Twice in the last week I offered my services to people who needed help. One admitted that he could have used me months ago and the other said thanks but the time wasn't right. Each time I walked out to my car asking myself, "Why did I do that?" No desperation on my part. I don't need the work to survive. But in each case I broke my own rule.

With one client, I offered to help over and over again as I watched a specific situation deteriorate. In the end I stopped asking. Months later they asked me to come in and fix things as if I had never brought up the idea myself. This is a constant lesson for me.

Offering without being asked weakens me. It undermines my freedom. It undermines my sense of myself. They have to ask me. I have earned that much freedom.