Today was a failure of will.
I could not lie. I could not create a story. An "out" if you will. I am staying for the time being letting our new coordinator pick up the heavy lifting. In a week or so I will drop back to part time until a regular HR Director is hired. 2-3 days a week is what my client and I agreed upon. Acceptable and doable. Painfully so.
So the game changes slightly and the race to find and hire someone else is the new goal. I am like Lee's Army of Northern Virginia in 1864, racing to beat Grant's next flanking move. Racing to get their first and lay my meager army across some obscure and disputed barricade. The next Spotsylvania. The next Cold Harbor.
But then I can't toss a silver dollar across the Potomac either. Like my friend Jerry said. "It is what it is." I will just have to play it out.
My boss asked what HR could look like I told him. He listened politely but he doubts that people would give an HR person permission to do what I told him could be done. Free of any desire to stay I openly said to him that this wasn't about asking permission. It was about earning the respect and trust of the tribe so that they would take you in as one of their own.