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Sunday, September 21, 2008

Silicon Valley Warrior: The Passage

A day off from everything.

I was thinking about what I care and don't about.

I care about my family.

I care about freedom of movement.

I don't care much about who will be the next president of the USA. I should by other people's standards but I just don't really care at the base of things. I have seen both good and bad presidents and the country has survived both (so far). Our founding fathers were geniuses. They created a system whereby we could survive and exorcise our leaders. Not easily but still the machinery is there to do with them as we please.

I want inner peace. I am tired of people who create chaos in my life. Who use me up. I also dislike the fact that I allow myself to be used up. On the other hand, I will continue to help those that I can.

I want to continue to run but I don't much care about being fast anymore. I am not fast anyway so this is an easy decision. The action and society of running is what I love.

Fear and panic. They are hard wired into our DNA but also we have the ability to control these emotions. That is what sets us apart. I have had a good lesson in this over the past several weeks. I worry much about things that never come to pass. I worry about things that do come to pass. It is all the same. They do come to pass never the less. It all seems rather silly to resist what will come anyway.

There is no line of demarcation about working or not working. I will do it or not as I please. The word retirement is someone else's definition of life. Not mine. Enjoying the process is what is critical. Not the destination. I can lay around and loaf (as Larry Darrell so eloquently put it in "The Razor's Edge" or I can work. It's all the same as long as it allows me to enjoy the passage.

It is time to emotionally move on. To find that peace I have sought my whole life.

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